Does she know, he wonders, how clear she's being with what she's feeling? They're not hitting him with the thunderbolt-suddenness of that first burst of envy that had almost sent him running, but they're right there, swimming through the room, almost visible in their twining intensity. Envy again, and a heavy something that weighs her down, drags down the walls she's half-heartedly reconstructing.
Her loneliness is a tide that catches him and sweeps him out to a sea of it. His fingers tighten dangerously on the wood of the window until it creaks audibly.
"I will," he says slowly, after several moments debating his words. He's watching her too closely again, he can see when she looks at him and he can meet her eyes even in this near-darkness. She hates being seen like this, but she doesn't hate that it's him seeing her like this, and isn't that curious? "But I think it's an inaccuracy to say I shouldn't be here. I can't risk leading anyone back in their direction, and I'll wait as long as I need, to keep that from happening." He lets go of the window and shifts to sit upright, staying where he is for now but more politely, as it were, for conversation.
"I know you're gonna argue," he continues quietly. "I know you think that bringing your organization down the way you have, there's minimal risk in my slipping off, going under the radar. You may well be right." He runs a thumb along the edge of the crest again and folds his fingers and looks up. "But the things I've seen in this...existence...of mine. Are not things I'll allow anywhere near Alice. I can wait."
no subject
Her loneliness is a tide that catches him and sweeps him out to a sea of it. His fingers tighten dangerously on the wood of the window until it creaks audibly.
"I will," he says slowly, after several moments debating his words. He's watching her too closely again, he can see when she looks at him and he can meet her eyes even in this near-darkness. She hates being seen like this, but she doesn't hate that it's him seeing her like this, and isn't that curious? "But I think it's an inaccuracy to say I shouldn't be here. I can't risk leading anyone back in their direction, and I'll wait as long as I need, to keep that from happening." He lets go of the window and shifts to sit upright, staying where he is for now but more politely, as it were, for conversation.
"I know you're gonna argue," he continues quietly. "I know you think that bringing your organization down the way you have, there's minimal risk in my slipping off, going under the radar. You may well be right." He runs a thumb along the edge of the crest again and folds his fingers and looks up. "But the things I've seen in this...existence...of mine. Are not things I'll allow anywhere near Alice. I can wait."