"I didn't hear you insisting upon it," she counters, looking up at him with a simple shrug. "And if you did I would have told you to mind your own business, I think you know me well enough by now to know that. This has nothing to do with that. It's the right choice to make." In the grand scheme of things, at least. Her defensive exterior seems to soften when he wraps his arm around her waist, and Natasha can't help herself but let her head lean into him as her hand rests softly on his middle, holding him close with a soft touch that doesn't try to trap him there but instead shows that he's welcome.
She waits until Alice is off of the phone before she continues. "The things that you do, I'm not comfortable with them because I know them." She looks up at Jasper with a frown before glancing back at Alice. "I'm comfortable with them because I've seen worse. I've fought worse, I've fought things that aren't organic, things that are... horrifying. That could kill even you, after I've seen what they're capable of. I've seen what a real nightmare looks like, it doesn't have cold skin and super speed."
For only a moment Natasha's eyes close, the Chitauri monstrosities flashing behind her lids in hoards, Hulk chasing her through the tight confines of a helicarrier, a literal god trying to terrify her from behind a glass prison... they open again. "Just because I'm here and I want to-" she pauses, because for some reason saying it is harder than her demand for them to take her mortality away, "-I want to try, with you... with both of you, I still have a lot of red in my ledger. More than I thought, apparently." The last part comes out quietly, guilt twisting through her before she pushes it away. Not behind a wall, but away completely, because now isn't the time.
"I'm not going to stop trying to fix everything. There are people out there who need me and I'm not capable of solving all of the problems I should be able to solve the way that I am now. I won't live long enough." Another statement made as fact. "I want to be the person that I'm supposed to be, not the one that I'm made into. I can start here." She looks up at Jasper once more, a frown tugging at the corners of her mouth. "And I'll be damned if I sit back and let you fight the first battle I've been here for without me. So you need to change me." She looks back at Alice now, and she shrugs. "I don't do useless."
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She waits until Alice is off of the phone before she continues. "The things that you do, I'm not comfortable with them because I know them." She looks up at Jasper with a frown before glancing back at Alice. "I'm comfortable with them because I've seen worse. I've fought worse, I've fought things that aren't organic, things that are... horrifying. That could kill even you, after I've seen what they're capable of. I've seen what a real nightmare looks like, it doesn't have cold skin and super speed."
For only a moment Natasha's eyes close, the Chitauri monstrosities flashing behind her lids in hoards, Hulk chasing her through the tight confines of a helicarrier, a literal god trying to terrify her from behind a glass prison... they open again. "Just because I'm here and I want to-" she pauses, because for some reason saying it is harder than her demand for them to take her mortality away, "-I want to try, with you... with both of you, I still have a lot of red in my ledger. More than I thought, apparently." The last part comes out quietly, guilt twisting through her before she pushes it away. Not behind a wall, but away completely, because now isn't the time.
"I'm not going to stop trying to fix everything. There are people out there who need me and I'm not capable of solving all of the problems I should be able to solve the way that I am now. I won't live long enough." Another statement made as fact. "I want to be the person that I'm supposed to be, not the one that I'm made into. I can start here." She looks up at Jasper once more, a frown tugging at the corners of her mouth. "And I'll be damned if I sit back and let you fight the first battle I've been here for without me. So you need to change me." She looks back at Alice now, and she shrugs. "I don't do useless."