It's never been like this, Natasha realizes almost immediately. Even earlier today with Alice had been somewhat mindless in the way where Natasha didn't have to be so aware of herself and her movements, because Alice doesn't seem to have the same sense of hesitation as Jasper does.
She also didn't feel vulnerable with Alice. It's one thing to crawl into bed with someone who can see the future, but someone who can see her on levels that she's never wanted to be seen is a different animal. Sex is a weapon, it's used to lure people in and entwine them in the carefully crafted web she's spent her time weaving and nothing else. Love is for children, after all.
But she won't hide herself behind the carefully constructed walls she learned to build when she was a young girl. Although she's never been one to believe in equal footing, Jasper's put out enough of an obvious effort for her to know that she needs to meet him at least half way. It's terrifying, but she's been terrified before. This is the best kind.
It takes effort to not cling to him when he presses her on her back only to get out of bed, but she lets him go and her eyes follow him as he disrobes beside the bed. Natasha can't help but wonder what those who know her would think of him; he's not her 'type'. The world around her is filled with men who are quite easily double her size, but Jasper is lean; tall, but thin. Yet she's certain she's never been so attracted to a man the way she is to him, and she has to wonder if it has anything to do with the way he makes her feel when she simply thinks of him, let alone spends her time with him.
"Much." His curved smile is returned with one of her own, but instead of climbing atop of him immediately Natasha decides to lie beside him on her side, her eyes wandering his body as she reaches out a hand. Fingertips brush slowly down his arms to trace the scars that her eyes fell to immediately, bite marks and all of them different. He had mentioned that he was in a vampire war, and she supposes nobody gets out of something like that without a few reminders. She has a few of them herself. "I guess they don't go away after the change?" She'll admit that she was wondering, her own scars reminders of a past that she wouldn't mind leaving behind, but she's carried them for this long; she's used to them now.
Once her touch starts to circle the mark on his hip she moves it down, feathering the bone of his pelvis before her hand flattens and moves up his stomach to his chest. Her eyes follow for a moment before meeting his again, and there's curiosity there but she doesn't ask. If she asks him about his scars, she's opening the door for him to ask her about her own. Not exactly pillow talk.
Instead, Natasha lets her hand come to rest on his shoulder, and she gently leads him to lie on his back before her leg slides it's way over him and she rises again. The lack of same hasn't changed from when she first dropped the sheet she was using to cover herself, and this time she sits up straight to look down at him beneath her as she settles on his legs. This time when she meets his eye it's with a mischievous smile, and Natasha's hand moves against his thigh slowly with almost too much patience. She said that she'd take it slow and she meant it, but she doubts that Jasper knows exactly how difficult that is for her to accomplish.
At first she simply brushes against him, a run of her palm over his shaft to get a feel for his body, and once she does she bends at the hips to lean down and run a warm mouth up his full length. Despite her reputation Natasha has no intention on teasing him, her focus fully on delivering what she told him; she won't always be able to make him feel her warmth. For only a moment she lets her tongue twist around his tip in an experimental taste before her lips part and she pulls him in, taking him halfway and wrapping her lips around him tightly. She takes her time, moving over him fluidly for just enough time to get him fully erect before he leaves her mouth only to be replaced with a slowly stroking hand as she looks up his body at him through her lashes.
"You're sure?" She has to ask. Natasha's never been so concerned that she's pushing someone into something past their comfort zone; that's what she does. Maybe it's why she needs the reassurance that right now, that isn't the case.
no subject
She also didn't feel vulnerable with Alice. It's one thing to crawl into bed with someone who can see the future, but someone who can see her on levels that she's never wanted to be seen is a different animal. Sex is a weapon, it's used to lure people in and entwine them in the carefully crafted web she's spent her time weaving and nothing else. Love is for children, after all.
But she won't hide herself behind the carefully constructed walls she learned to build when she was a young girl. Although she's never been one to believe in equal footing, Jasper's put out enough of an obvious effort for her to know that she needs to meet him at least half way. It's terrifying, but she's been terrified before. This is the best kind.
It takes effort to not cling to him when he presses her on her back only to get out of bed, but she lets him go and her eyes follow him as he disrobes beside the bed. Natasha can't help but wonder what those who know her would think of him; he's not her 'type'. The world around her is filled with men who are quite easily double her size, but Jasper is lean; tall, but thin. Yet she's certain she's never been so attracted to a man the way she is to him, and she has to wonder if it has anything to do with the way he makes her feel when she simply thinks of him, let alone spends her time with him.
"Much." His curved smile is returned with one of her own, but instead of climbing atop of him immediately Natasha decides to lie beside him on her side, her eyes wandering his body as she reaches out a hand. Fingertips brush slowly down his arms to trace the scars that her eyes fell to immediately, bite marks and all of them different. He had mentioned that he was in a vampire war, and she supposes nobody gets out of something like that without a few reminders. She has a few of them herself. "I guess they don't go away after the change?" She'll admit that she was wondering, her own scars reminders of a past that she wouldn't mind leaving behind, but she's carried them for this long; she's used to them now.
Once her touch starts to circle the mark on his hip she moves it down, feathering the bone of his pelvis before her hand flattens and moves up his stomach to his chest. Her eyes follow for a moment before meeting his again, and there's curiosity there but she doesn't ask. If she asks him about his scars, she's opening the door for him to ask her about her own. Not exactly pillow talk.
Instead, Natasha lets her hand come to rest on his shoulder, and she gently leads him to lie on his back before her leg slides it's way over him and she rises again. The lack of same hasn't changed from when she first dropped the sheet she was using to cover herself, and this time she sits up straight to look down at him beneath her as she settles on his legs. This time when she meets his eye it's with a mischievous smile, and Natasha's hand moves against his thigh slowly with almost too much patience. She said that she'd take it slow and she meant it, but she doubts that Jasper knows exactly how difficult that is for her to accomplish.
At first she simply brushes against him, a run of her palm over his shaft to get a feel for his body, and once she does she bends at the hips to lean down and run a warm mouth up his full length. Despite her reputation Natasha has no intention on teasing him, her focus fully on delivering what she told him; she won't always be able to make him feel her warmth. For only a moment she lets her tongue twist around his tip in an experimental taste before her lips part and she pulls him in, taking him halfway and wrapping her lips around him tightly. She takes her time, moving over him fluidly for just enough time to get him fully erect before he leaves her mouth only to be replaced with a slowly stroking hand as she looks up his body at him through her lashes.
"You're sure?" She has to ask. Natasha's never been so concerned that she's pushing someone into something past their comfort zone; that's what she does. Maybe it's why she needs the reassurance that right now, that isn't the case.