"What, you thought immortality brought with it some kind of peace?" Jasper teases, but he leaves it at that as they go back to the house. He'd gotten further in that conversation than he'd really expected, especially with Leah there. It's encouraging. It goes against their natures a little to even have a civil conversation with a vampire, he knows it, but that they're willing to do so and come away from that conversation with both sides having gained something, that's progress. Carlisle will likely be proud when he hears.
He fills Alice in on their wolfy conversation while Natasha showers, every last detail, including Leah's input and letting Seth know about Natasha's upcoming change. They talk about the family returning, what they'll need to do before they arrive, airing out the house, figuring out a time and a place for Natasha to be comfortable. As comfortable as anyone can be with the venom in them. Jasper admits that he doesn't like the idea of causing her that kind of pain, and Alice curls up into him and nods, her fragile face a picture of misery for a moment, before she reminds him with false cheer that she knows Natasha will be fine. They leave it at that, it's all they can do.
When Natasha comes back down and joins them, Alice's fingers card through her hair and Jasper rubs a hand along her calf slowly. "They'll love you," Alice says and drops a kiss onto Natasha's forehead. "Why on earth wouldn't they?"
She smiles up at Alice once she kiss is planted but it doesn't reach her eyes, and she glances at Jasper anxiously before sighing and letting her eyes close. The comfort that comes with being close to both of them is still so foreign, and it's almost annoying how much she can feel herself relaxing beneath gentle touches despite the fact that she'd very much like to be on edge right then.
"Seth recognized me today." She lets it linger in the air for a moment although she knows that the significance of that won't be recognized by either of them, considering that they don't watch the news at all. It's something Natasha had been grateful for.
"I'm not just hiding here because I leaked all of those files, there were things in the files that people might not be comfortable seeing." And if their family saw them then... well, Natasha wouldn't be surprised if she has quite the uphill battle ahead of her. Her eyes open as she stares up at Alice only to turn her head and tuck it against the woman's lap and look at Jasper instead. "I was raised in Russia, in a place called the Red Room." Because if they're going to find out, she wants it to be from her and not from a media source.
She tells them what she feels to be necessary, everything that would be in her file. She doesn't mention the young women she had to dispose of in the Red Room, because although there may be speculation about that nobody can prove that Natasha had to partake in it and it's not something she readily speaks about. She doesn't mention the trials that they put her through or the number of men she'd killed, but she does inform them that she was formerly an agent of the KGB. She tells them how Clint had brought her over to SHIELD, and how she always worked in the shadows, so her face being exposed so publicly is, effectively, the end of an era.
"My code name was Black Widow, which is what Seth called me when we met with him and his rabid dog." She looks up at Alice again. "If they released that then they probably released a lot more and I don't know how much of it your family knows. Or if they'll have a problem with it all." With a sigh Natasha runs her fingers through her hair before moving to sit up, suddenly restless. "I need to be changed, there are going to be people after me that may actually be able to hurt me if I stay like this, and I don't want Carlisle to decide that I'm too dangerous to be around his family."
Listening to Natasha almost perfectly echo what Jasper had said to her the night before they'd first met the Cullens—too long ago for Natasha to possibly know, she's a good spy but Natasha hadn't even been born yet—Alice can't help it, she giggles. Jasper has taken a breath to answer, but he glances at her and gives her a little nod. She knows what he was going to say, she thinks, and it should come from her.
Their girl has been through far too much, enough that Alice's heart aches for the little girl in Russia and the woman she's become, and Alice laces her fingers through Natasha's. "That's exactly what Jasper said," she says with a fond smile, slowly carding the fingers of her other hand through Natasha's hair. "Jasper killed for a long time. To survive, but that doesn't make it...any easier to bear. For either of us. But the way he looks...you can't tell as much while you're human, but when you're changed and you see him, you'll understand. Vampires are afraid of him instinctively. He thought Carlisle would decide that he was too dangerous to be around his family. That he'd been on the violent path for too long. But I told him that wouldn't happen, and that's not what happened."
She shifts to rest her cool chin against Natasha's forehead. "Carlisle won't decide that this time either," she says, with that quiet certainty that her family has grown so familiar with over the years. "I know he won't, I've seen it and once he meets you, he wants you to be a part of the family. But," she meets Jasper's eyes, "I know that isn't enough." She falls silent, forgetting to breathe while she pieces together the wording for what she's trying to say.
"Carlisle spent years with the Volturi," she says at last, deciding that head-on is the best angle after all. "He didn't approve of the way they lived, but he still spent a long time with them, and lived like they did. He doesn't know how many people he killed before choosing to live a different life. Jasper doesn't know how many, but it must be thousands. Edward went off on his own after Carlisle changed him. Rosalie killed her murderers. Emmett had trouble adjusting." She sighs a little. "Even I couldn't resist sometimes. We live the way we do because of what we've done, because we want to be better." Then she smiles, that bright smile with a hint of mischief in it. "I'm afraid you're just going to fit right in."
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moodshifter) wrote2017-02-16 01:26 pm
no subject
He fills Alice in on their wolfy conversation while Natasha showers, every last detail, including Leah's input and letting Seth know about Natasha's upcoming change. They talk about the family returning, what they'll need to do before they arrive, airing out the house, figuring out a time and a place for Natasha to be comfortable. As comfortable as anyone can be with the venom in them. Jasper admits that he doesn't like the idea of causing her that kind of pain, and Alice curls up into him and nods, her fragile face a picture of misery for a moment, before she reminds him with false cheer that she knows Natasha will be fine. They leave it at that, it's all they can do.
When Natasha comes back down and joins them, Alice's fingers card through her hair and Jasper rubs a hand along her calf slowly. "They'll love you," Alice says and drops a kiss onto Natasha's forehead. "Why on earth wouldn't they?"
no subject
"Seth recognized me today." She lets it linger in the air for a moment although she knows that the significance of that won't be recognized by either of them, considering that they don't watch the news at all. It's something Natasha had been grateful for.
"I'm not just hiding here because I leaked all of those files, there were things in the files that people might not be comfortable seeing." And if their family saw them then... well, Natasha wouldn't be surprised if she has quite the uphill battle ahead of her. Her eyes open as she stares up at Alice only to turn her head and tuck it against the woman's lap and look at Jasper instead. "I was raised in Russia, in a place called the Red Room." Because if they're going to find out, she wants it to be from her and not from a media source.
She tells them what she feels to be necessary, everything that would be in her file. She doesn't mention the young women she had to dispose of in the Red Room, because although there may be speculation about that nobody can prove that Natasha had to partake in it and it's not something she readily speaks about. She doesn't mention the trials that they put her through or the number of men she'd killed, but she does inform them that she was formerly an agent of the KGB. She tells them how Clint had brought her over to SHIELD, and how she always worked in the shadows, so her face being exposed so publicly is, effectively, the end of an era.
"My code name was Black Widow, which is what Seth called me when we met with him and his rabid dog." She looks up at Alice again. "If they released that then they probably released a lot more and I don't know how much of it your family knows. Or if they'll have a problem with it all." With a sigh Natasha runs her fingers through her hair before moving to sit up, suddenly restless. "I need to be changed, there are going to be people after me that may actually be able to hurt me if I stay like this, and I don't want Carlisle to decide that I'm too dangerous to be around his family."
no subject
Their girl has been through far too much, enough that Alice's heart aches for the little girl in Russia and the woman she's become, and Alice laces her fingers through Natasha's. "That's exactly what Jasper said," she says with a fond smile, slowly carding the fingers of her other hand through Natasha's hair. "Jasper killed for a long time. To survive, but that doesn't make it...any easier to bear. For either of us. But the way he looks...you can't tell as much while you're human, but when you're changed and you see him, you'll understand. Vampires are afraid of him instinctively. He thought Carlisle would decide that he was too dangerous to be around his family. That he'd been on the violent path for too long. But I told him that wouldn't happen, and that's not what happened."
She shifts to rest her cool chin against Natasha's forehead. "Carlisle won't decide that this time either," she says, with that quiet certainty that her family has grown so familiar with over the years. "I know he won't, I've seen it and once he meets you, he wants you to be a part of the family. But," she meets Jasper's eyes, "I know that isn't enough." She falls silent, forgetting to breathe while she pieces together the wording for what she's trying to say.
"Carlisle spent years with the Volturi," she says at last, deciding that head-on is the best angle after all. "He didn't approve of the way they lived, but he still spent a long time with them, and lived like they did. He doesn't know how many people he killed before choosing to live a different life. Jasper doesn't know how many, but it must be thousands. Edward went off on his own after Carlisle changed him. Rosalie killed her murderers. Emmett had trouble adjusting." She sighs a little. "Even I couldn't resist sometimes. We live the way we do because of what we've done, because we want to be better." Then she smiles, that bright smile with a hint of mischief in it. "I'm afraid you're just going to fit right in."