"Oh, they do," he murmurs as she traces his scars, "as long as you get them before." Every mark he carries now has come from after the change, each one a souvenir of a newborn lucky enough to get the bite in, unlucky enough to get the bite in on him. Hundreds, maybe thousands, all of them dead by his hand. It used to flood him with guilt, but he's realized more recently that his guilt comes less from his regrets at his actions and more from the fact that these gentle people he's surrounded himself with have been burdened with the knowledge of those deaths.
Natasha isn't one of those people. He doesn't need to feel as though he's burdening her with that knowledge. So he doesn't shy away from her exploration of his scars, although he doesn't elaborate yet either. Plenty of time to tell his stories, possibly even a few he's held back from relating before, for the sake of propriety. There's something singularly fascinating about having found someone who won't shy away from anything he's done, someone he can talk to who won't brush it aside with a placating 'you never need to do that again.' Yes, it's a relief to know he won't need to be that particular flavor of monster again, but that doesn't mean it hadn't happened.
He moves easily enough when she moves him, unresisting, letting her set the pace and the position. He'd learned from his brother's mistakes, he supposes, but giving her this measure of control may have been a mistake, if she's going to use it to draw things out to this extent. His eyes never waver from her as she settles on him and smiles, and when she finally leans over to tease at him and taste, he exhales slowly and takes the risk of reaching out to slide fingers through her hair, just once before he pulls his hand back. It's a struggle not to move, but he knows he's very likely to move too quickly, with too much strength, and so he stays still, unblinking, savoring the heat from her hands and her mouth, even the warm weight on his legs as she's perched there. It's a gift, and he's going to treat it as such, but the question makes him smile and sit up just enough to be able to reach out and cup her cheek carefully.
"I am," he says simply, tracing her cheekbone with a thumb. "I'm sure, Natalia."
It's a powerful show of trust when Natasha turns her head to kiss the inside of Jasper's wrist in acceptance of his reassurance, and the fact that he can't possibly know that is one of the reasons she feels so deeply for him. Everything that he says to her can be taken at face value, Jasper feels to her as if he's come from a different world that isn't riddled with espionage and covert operations; he speaks several languages, and yet falsehoods simply doesn't seem to be one of them. He's complex, but he's simple in all the ways she needs, and when she finds it so easy to trust him Natasha feels like a normal person in those moments.
Instead of letting him lie back once more Natasha takes his hand, fingers curling around it to hold it from her face, and she gives a gentle tug to slowly drag him so he can sit up fully. Rising to her knees Natasha moves up his legs only to lower herself back down in his lap, his erection resting between them comfortably so she can roll her hips with the same languid pace as before to deliver a pleasing sense of friction. As she settles herself her eyes never leave him, every shift certain with fluidity that's rooted in confidence, and this time her gaze has nothing to do with making sure that he's alright and everything to do with the simple desire to see him. An arm wraps around his shoulders as her other hand guides his to her waist, and she only looks down for a moment to move his second to rest on her hip before her attention is directly his once more.
There's no need to ask again, her faith in him almost concerning if she cared enough to take the time to analyze it, so Natasha pushes forward by leaning down and pulling him into another unhurried kiss, and this time she savors it as the arm that isn't wrapped around him moves down between them to take a firm hold of him. When she parts it's only to rise up, and this time when she holds eye contact it's because she wants to see him now, in this moment particularly, which is ridiculous; Natasha isn't the sentimental type, or she wasn't before. Perhaps she is now, and that's simply one of the things she's learned about herself by being with him and Alice.
As she lowers herself back down Natasha guides him, her hand only moving from his base when she feels him breach her so she can, instead, grab onto his shoulder and keep herself steady. She moves with patience, her grip on his bare skin tightening only once with a paired flex of her jaw as she feels him sink deeper, and when Natasha finally feels herself flush against his groin she lets out a slow and almost pleased sigh through her nose. Her arms switch, one wrapping around him comfortably while the other returns so she can run her fingers affectionately through his hair to push it out of his eyes yet again, and for a few sweet lingering moments Natasha simply stays there, basking in the way it feels to be filled by him and wondering why, this time, it's so different.
Why does she feel as if she can stay in this moment for an eternity and be just fine with that, despite having no expectation or goal behind her motivations to be here? Why is it that being this close to him, despite her vulnerability in every way imaginable, does Natasha feel safe and at peace for the first time in her short but much too long life? The answer comes so simply in her head, and so immediately that it almost startles her because it feels as if it should be complicated and terrifying, wrapped in layers of questions and doubt. It isn't, though. Natasha realizes that she loves him, and it should frighten her how deep that goes; how thoroughly it's managed to tangle itself around her despite slipping past her guard in the first place. Yet there isn't a touch of fear to be found, and Natasha has to wonder if that's a part of the whole concept of love in the first place. She hopes so. What a wonderful idea.
Although she's far from ashamed, Natasha doesn't speak her realization aloud; it's not the time. Saying it now feels as if it might not hold as much weight, because people are usually swayed emotionally in situations like this, aren't they? She can't have Jasper believing that's the case, so instead she leans in to kiss him once more with his face still firmly in the palm of her hand, and she starts to move again, hips rolling to a steady rhythm that she sets for them to start them off.
There's a lot going on in her head, he doesn't need Edward's ability to know that much. Everything she does, he accepts, moving with her, pliant and open. There's no need to put up a front with her, there never has been, and he wouldn't insult her by trying. He doesn't look away from her face for a moment, not when she pulls him forward into a kiss, when she lifts herself up, not even when she presses deliciously down and surrounds him with her heat.
This isn't something he's ever felt, and as she settles against him he lets his eyes fall closed, basking in the emotions pouring out of her as much as the vibrant heat everywhere they touch. And when her revelation arrives, he's in a perfect position to feel it flowing out alongside everything else. She loves him. It prompts him to look at her again, head tipped a bit to the side, but he holds onto the silence between them, just carefully wrapping one arm around her waist and twining the fingers of his other hand through her hair as she kisses him again.
It's important that she stay in control for this, and when he finally shifts his hips it's to answer the pace she's setting. She's fiery and sharp-edged, he loves that about her, but the care he needs to take with her, the slow pace they need to maintain, it all makes coming together like this somehow sweeter than he'd expected. The kiss lingers as they move together, and when it finally breaks, Jasper leans up to press a careful row of kisses along Natasha's jaw, finally pausing with his lips against her pulse. It's a test, so many things are, but the dry rasp of thirst in his throat barely grows any stronger as he feels her heart beating.
He looks almost dazed when he finally lifts his head again, and that's when he starts to buck his hips into hers a little more sharply. Slow and sweet is one thing, maybe it's what they've needed, but she's pushed him more times than he can count, and he's pushed himself just now. It's her turn.
When he looks at her with that curious tilt to his head Natasha is sure that he felt exactly what she had, that strange but pleasantly warm tingle of adoration that she's far from used to, and she can't help but smile into their kiss when he does exactly what she wants and says nothing about it. Nothing really needs to be said in Natasha's opinion; she feels it, and she's allowing him to know. Despite the lack of verbiage between them there's a sense of understanding that's underlying, and with it comes the reassurance that, although everything has suddenly changed, nothing has really changed at all.
The longer Natasha falls into her comfortable pace the easier it is for her mind to slip further and further away from anything that isn't the moment she shares with him, senses heightened and sensations magnified by her hyper awareness of her own actions. His mouth travels its way down her jaw until he finds his way to her throat, and Natasha's head tilts away naturally to give him more access without concern. The careful brush of lips against skin is enough to pull a sigh from her, something dangerously close to a moan that she manages to bite back at the last second, and Natasha's eyes close as she allows herself to simply experience him while also reveling in the unconditional trust that he's somehow managed to make her feel. It's like an embrace, wrapping her up with comfort and reassurance that she knows she can find all too addicting if she isn't careful. Natasha has trusted before, but she's never trusted blindly until Jasper came into her life, and the disregard for protocol and procedure that comes with that is so liberating that she's sure she could almost get high off of it if she doesn't keep herself in check.
He lifts his head again and that's her cue to turn her head back, meeting his eye as the rhythm of her hips stays consistent, and for a moment she's not certain what that look in his eye is until he suddenly thrusts up into her with more force than before, making her fingers dig into his shoulder and her lips part in a short but surprised gasp at the same time. For a second her lashes flutter, eyes closing as she feels herself tighten around him in every way; the arm around him drags him closer, the fingers in his shoulder digging into his skin a little and her walls hugging him tighter than before until she forces herself to relax. She knows what he's doing, and she knows why as well... it takes more effort than she'd like to not lean back and drag him on top of her, but she can't. They have to take this in steps, so Natasha braces herself by leaning forward and letting her forehead rest against his, her body pressed against his own as she picks up her own pace to meet the new one that he's set for them. The hand on his shoulder slowly starts to relax, and her other twists into the hair with a nearly uncontrollable urge to tug and drag his head back, but she doesn't. Natasha concentrates on holding him instead, but her inconsistent gasps are no longer silent, a quiet moan slipping out whenever she feels him push his way into her to his hilt.
All of her concentration is taken by keeping herself in the moment that they've made instead of pushing them further out of it faster than either of them are ready, and after his name comes on a hushed breath she speaks in a way easiest for her, simply to avoid having to split her attention from exactly where it is now. "Byt' ostorozhen." She leans in for another kiss, and this time there's a smile in it. "YA ne znayu, mogu li ya byt' takim zhe sil'nym, kak ty."
Their rhythm is quicker now, but it's still careful, it needs to be and he can tell she's holding back just as much as he is. That would be almost frustrating in a way if this wasn't so good already. Once she's changed, everything will become new for both of them, all three of them, and Jasper isn't used to thinking of something as being transient, fleeting. This heat all around him, the fragile strength of her in his arms, it's all temporary, and he finds himself slowing again, savoring it as much as he can.
"Ne vsegda," he whispers, "ne dlja namnogo dol'she." It's rare that anyone like him is graced with this level of trust from a human, and especially when it's someone like Natasha, who trusts only when she's certain. He takes a slow breath, smoothing both hands down her back and up again, resting at her shoulders to keep her close as he moves faster again, rolling his hips, deliberately seeking out the little shifts that pull those soft moans from her.
It's a balancing act, it takes concentration, and at first he doesn't notice his own slow build of heat at the base of his spine, until she moves against him just right and her name escapes him in a whisper that sounds almost surprised. He leans back just enough to look up at her, open and unguarded and still dazed with all of this, but he wants to see her when she comes undone, he wants to know what that looks like and keep it.
Everything about Jasper, in that moment, surrounds her in a way that's still physical but still so much beyond just that. His voice, still somehow soothing despite how hushed it is, dances over her and electrifies her skin, and the way that he holds her with careful hands and yet not as if she's fragile has her leaning further into him, hungry for a closeness that can't possibly be reached beyond what they've already managed.
He's learning her body quickly, rocking into her with consistency and holding her stable, and soon he's pulling her soft gasps and light sounds to the surface with every roll of his hips. By the time she manages to look at him she can feel it looming, that slow build getting tighter and tighter until it's too consuming for her to hold off anymore, even though she wishes it wasn't. If Natasha had it her way she could stay there, but it's not realistic, and she can see in his eyes that he's staring at her for the same reason that she's looking at him. She wants to see him unravel beneath her first, but he's pushing her too far, and when Natasha realizes that she can no longer keep her own climax at bay her hands move to take his face between them, wanting nothing more in that moment to see him completely.
When it comes it's a struggle to keep her eyes open, and although no sound is released when her lips part Natasha's body gives him every signal he needs. Euphoria spikes, the rhythm they've found quickens just a bit as she chases the sensation that he's managed to send coursing through her, and Natasha's legs press tighter against his thighs on either side of him so she can keep herself steady throughout all of it. This time when she kisses him its deeper and to muffle the low but lingering moan she can't fight off, and once it subsides she finds herself staying on him, not yet ready to disconnect. That means that it's over, and Natasha, despite her lack of sentimentality, wants to hold on just a little bit longer. As long as he'll allow.
It's quickly becoming apparent to Jasper that he's already accustomed to the way her emotions twine together and swirl out from her when she isn't hiding them from him, and that he'd miss them if they were gone. Moving with her like this, it's easy to lose himself in her heat and her coils of feeling, and the surprise shows on his face as his restraint slips and he's pushed over the edge.
He's never shied away from meeting her eyes and he doesn't look away now, still focused so much on everything her as he crests and subsides in a sharp-edged wave. He doesn't make any move to shift her, either, hands still carefully secure on her shoulders as he lets out a slow exhale and leans into the kiss. He doesn't get tired, doesn't get sore or need to shift position, he can stay like this with her as long as she wants.
But he will smile and trail his lips along her mouth to kiss the edge of her jaw, with a satisfied little sound. "Alice did not make a mention of any of that," he murmurs against her skin. "Little minx that she is."
It happens almost too quickly, but once the moment passes Natasha is suddenly very aware of how out of breath she is, despite the fact that the physical exertion she put out isn't anything that should effect her let alone wind her. She doesn't move, instead leaning into his cool skin and resting a warm cheek against the side of his head, reveling in how glorious it is to have an ice-pack-boyfriend ready to go before she loses it forever. His comment gets a breathy but amused laugh out of her, and Natasha's grip loosens on his shoulder so she can instead drape both arms around him and let them hang freely as she rests the full weight of her body against him.
"Maybe she didn't want to ruin the surprise," she manages after a few moments, and after a thoughtful silence she pulls back just enough to catch his eye with a playful glint shining in her own. "Or maybe she thought you'd get scared and back out if she told you. And you know what?" Natasha leans in until her lips brush against his ear, and her whisper is almost sing-song with tease, "I bet she didn't even leave the house." A grin slips into her words, "she knows where the fun is really at."
It takes a few minutes before Natasha can drag herself off of him, and once she does she half-lies, half-collapses into the bed with a content hum and no effort to cover herself. "Don't look smug." She's not even looking at his face, her eyes closed. "Appreciate it while you still can, soon you're not going to be able to wear me out."
Jasper doesn't answer, but he does curl closer, sliding a hand along her arm and over her stomach. She's probably right, at that. Alice knows he doubts his own sense of control, she knows it better than anyone, and it's almost certain that he would have found a way to avoid it if he'd known. Little minx that she is.
The little minx herself dances back upstairs half an hour later, lingering in the doorway with a warm smile as she sees the two of them tangled together beneath a sheet. Of course Alice had known, she hadn't known absolutely when it would happen, but she'd known Jasper and Natasha would come together at least once while Natasha was still human. There's a little warm curl beneath her heart as she moves across the room and delicately picks up the thick duvet from the floor, tosses it over them and climbs underneath to press against Natasha's other side. They won't sleep, but Natasha might just manage to sleep and maybe a vampire on either side will keep away the nightmares.
The next morning, Alice disappears back downstairs to put together breakfast for Natasha while Jasper explains the Cullen family's relationship with the local werewolves. It moves into a discussion of the origin of the pack, what Jasper knows of it, and the ways these werewolves differ from the various myths and legends humanity has grown around them. They're still talking when they climb into Emmett's jeep and Jasper pulls onto the street and starts the drive toward the reservation.
"It's a good idea to speak to them before the rest of the family returns," he continues, "explain the situation to the new alpha before the Volturi turn up like a bad penny, but Alice finds them somewhat...off-putting. She can't see them in her visions."
Although Natasha is certain that she isn't going to be able to sleep again that night, the way Alice feels when she curls up on Natasha's other side and effectively surrounds her with the only two people she's ever managed to blindly trust she feels herself drifting off. They never stop surprising her.
When she finally wakes up the motions that she goes through are dangerously close to a routine, and after thanking Alice for making breakfast with a kiss that only almost bordered on inappropriate for a kitchen setting she lets Jasper brief her on the local werewolf clan. ...Pack. Whatever, it's all absolutely ridiculous and Natasha still isn't sure she's willing to accept that werewolves even exist in the first place.
But apparently they do because now she's in a jeep, and Jasper is driving her to meet the new Alpha as Natasha sits in the passenger seat, quietly contemplating her life choices. It's the mention of the Volturi that brings her back to the present, and Natasha's head doesn't turn from staring off ahead as she responds. "She can stay home if they make her uncomfortable, it's not necessary for more than two of us to approach in the first place. From what you've told me, we want to keep the peace. Two is a friendly visit, three is a possible threat."
Once they arrive Natasha seems to visibly relax, although her anxiety and wariness spike. Then she does something strange, something subtle but layered with meaning; Natasha gives Jasper an apologetic frown before building her walls up and neutralizing her emotions. They're dogs, after all, they can smell when she's nervous, can't they? It's the acknowledgement, though, that she's doing it for them, and not for him, that catches even Natasha off guard. Since when has she ever been apologetic for hiding?
She steps out of the jeep and closes the door, but after that Natasha's hands slip into the back pockets of her jeans as she waits for Jasper to move. She'll follow his lead, for now.
His little nod is an acknowledgment of her need to wall herself back up as they get out of the jeep and he leads the way across the field—the old newborn battlefield in the woods, full of memory and a little sorrow, but a symbolic place now for vampires and werewolves—at a slow unthreatening amble, and it's a good idea. He doesn't know how sensitive the wolves are to things like human emotion, but better safe than sorry, even if it's been a lot easier to deal with the wolves since—
"Jasper!"
—since Seth took over after Jacob left. An impossibly young-looking boy, fifteen at most, comes bouncing out of the forest, deep tan and dark neatly cut hair, all wide eyes and bright smiles, sprinting across the grass and stopping on a dime a few feet back, bouncing on his toes. Even if you didn't know what he was, the word puppy would absolutely cross your mind. Jasper smiles back without showing his teeth, which results in an affectionate little smirk.
"Seth. Hello, Leah," he calls past Seth to the bear-sized gray and silver wolf that's slunk out of the woods, but barely, crouching at the edge of the trees and staring balefully. Leah growls and shakes herself, but she doesn't advance any farther, so Jasper will take that to mean she'll hold to the peace agreement. He turns his attention back to Seth, not letting any of his tension show, hands in his pockets and everything. "Seth, this is Natasha. She's a part of the family now. Natasha, this is Seth Clearwater, the alpha of the wolves around here. All of them now, isn't that right? Both packs, since Sam stepped down?"
Seth, who's been staring a little flabbergasted at the human standing so close to the vampire everyone knows has the hardest time around humans, takes a moment to notice he's been asked something. "What? Oh! Uh, yeah, that's me." He brushes a hand down his hair nervously and holds it out, straightening his shoulders, doing his best to look like a grown-up. "Hi."
When the word 'werewolf' is said, a particularly bouncy teenage boy certainly isn't the first thing that comes to mind for Natasha. Yet here he is, all bright eyed and bushy tailed, and Natasha can't help but feel the hint of a smile tug at the corner of her mouth when he offers his hand. She's particularly aware of the large wolf wandering around the edge of the woods but she doesn't look, her focus staying steady as she shakes his hand firmly.
"Hello, Seth. It's a pleasure to meet you." She'd think that Jasper would have told her that she was dealing with a damn teenager, but he probably finds it amusing. That strikes her as his type of humor.
"I'm afraid that this isn't a personal visit, there are some important details that we have to go over with you. Is there anywhere that we can speak comfortably? Perhaps with those you think should be around for a briefing." Finally, she glances at the large wolf stalking yards away. "Preferably in a form where I can communicate with them more easily, although that's not necessary." She looks back at Seth, and she offers him a sweet smile. "You'll have to forgive me for any social blunders I might make, this is my first encounter with anyone of your kind. I'm still somewhat new to this side of the world. ...Well." Natasha winces and looks up, head staying in place. "Vampires and wolves, at least."
When she speaks, Seth's mouth drops open like a cartoon, because he knows that voice, and the name, and the red hair, and ohgod, is this really her?? Jasper slants a look at him—that spark of excitement was seemingly out of place and impossible to miss—before it occurs to him that Natasha had outed herself rather publicly, and it shouldn't surprise him that the wolves had kept up with the saga of the Avengers.
"Oh wow," Seth whispers when she's finished speaking, and it takes him a moment to remember he's the alpha and he's been asked to do alpha things like arrange a meeting. "Um, oh, right. Don't mind Leah, she just, um. She doesn't really like any of the Cullens."
The snarl the bristling Leah lets out at this crass understatement is matched immediately by Jasper's smirk. It's all he can do not to wrinkle his nose, honestly, the stench when they're in wolf-form is a thousand times worse, but he's being good. "A place for a briefing might be somewhat complicated," he murmurs. "We don't go on Quielute land, and Quielutes won't willingly come to the house. It's cold territory."
Seth flushes a little and ducks his head. "I mean, we are supposed to be enemies," he points out in a helpless little mutter. "We're still enemies to other vampires. We just have, you know. A truce with the Cullens. They're okay." Then he stands a little straighter again, with squarer shoulders again. "But Jasper is right. We fought together here. It's probably the best place for both of us to meet. Vampires and werewolves, I mean. Are you the Black Widow?" he finally blurts out.
The moment that Seth's jaw drops Natasha knows that he's recognized her, and she's a little frustrated with herself for not expecting that beforehand. Of course he recognizes her, her face was probably plastered on every news station around the country, and that's assuming that something else more important has happened that's pushed her to second tier. She stays collected, because it's not Seth's fault that she hasn't bothered telling Jasper or Alice about her alter ego, and it's not that she's exactly hiding it. She simply never found it relevant.
"Well then, it looks as if the briefing will have to take place here, unless you'd prefer me to speak with you and your pack alone. And that's a shame." Her eyes move to the large wolf and her sweet smile is still in place, voice nothing less than diplomatic. "I've only heard good things about all of you." It's a blatant, bold faced lie that she delivers with such democracy that accusing her of falsehoods would come off as nothing less than crass and unjustified, but she barely lingers before her attention is back on Seth. He's the one worth concentrating on here, apparently.
"Considering that the Cullens are the only ones I know and the others that I've heard about don't sound particularly enjoyable, I'm inclined to believe your reasoning." And then he asks, and despite herself Natasha finds herself smiling a little and looking downcast for only a moment. "I see that you've been watching the news. Yes." She looks back at Seth without hesitation. "But people usually call me Natasha." Her grin turns somewhat impish, and she gives Seth a little wink. Nothing wrong with using her own reputation to her advantage. "The ones who call me Black Widow usually don't stick around."
Now it's Natasha getting Jasper's raised skeptical brow, that name had certainly not come up thus far, but he still refrains from comment. It's Natasha's decision to share her past when she wants to share her past, and if she hadn't considered the Black Widow name something they needed to know, he'll trust that. But it's still a surprise to find Seth picking up on who she really is so readily, considering who she really is had been, by nature, a secret. Clearly he'd missed quite a bit during his little vacation.
"Wow," Seth whispers, and it's clearly not something he'd meant to say out loud. "Er. I mean. Why are you here?" he asks instead, looking at Jasper.
"Our old friends the Volturi are perking up again," he says and explains what had happened: the raid—leaving Natasha's part out of it—and his imprisonment, the tentative experiments, his escape with Natasha's help, holing up in the woods to keep from being located again. "And it seems you already know about that little data leak that Natasha went ahead with," he glances at her and back to Seth, and barely even hesitated over the 'Natasha' instead of his customary 'Natalia', "but included in those files was the report of my interment and the results of their experiments, which—according to Alice—the Volturi will try to twist into 'revealing our existence.'"
At some point during his recitation, Leah had bounded into the woods and come back again in a torn shirt and shorts, standing behind Seth and closer to Natasha, as far as she can get from Jasper while still being a part of the discussion. Her routine glower is in full force, but she looks interested in spite of herself. "So they're coming back here and we're supposed to just clean this up for you?"
"Leah!" Seth says, aggrieved both as the Alpha responsible for an ornery packmate and as an embarrassed little brother, but Jasper shakes his head.
"Of course we'd never ask such a thing. The rest of the family is coming back. We wanted to warn you of that as well, in advance. But we're not recruiting witnesses as we did last time. It may well come to a fight." Unlike Carlisle's reluctance, Jasper's having difficulty masking the anticipatory smile. He wants nothing more than to be rid of the Volturi for good, even if that might cause a power shift none of them can predict.
"Like Jasper said," Natasha picks up where he left off, and this time she looks directly at Leah when she speaks with a polite smile, "we don't expect help from you. We just thought that you'd like to know so you can stay out of the way." She holds eye contact for a moment longer than necessary before her attention turns back to Seth and her smile takes a more genuine turn.
"Jasper informed me that having his kind in the area effects your pack, we just wanted to make sure that you were updated on everything that's going on. As he mentioned, it's very possible that this will end in violence." Guaranteed, if she has anything to do with it, but Natasha keeps that part to herself. "Neither of us would ask you to put you or yours in danger, this is just a courtesy visit. We're going to try to keep it as short and civil as possible." A pause. "I have a feeling that it's not going to stay that way, but I've been wrong before. As I've mentioned, I'm new to all of this so I'm sure there are plenty of unforeseen situations that can befall us."
There's barely a pause before she continues. "But we'll win, if it comes down to that."
"Stay out of the way, who do you—" Leah barely moves forward at all before Seth rounds on his sister with an exasperated growl, the first really wolfy thing he's done.
"Leah, go back to the pack," he orders, scowling and pointing. "Just, go on, it's just Jazz, I'm fine, I don't need backup, go tell Sam what's happening."
Leah gets in Seth's face immediately, and Jasper doesn't move a muscle, attuned carefully to the emotional state of both wolves. Seth's irritation and embarrassment comes on more than one level, likely as a little brother and as a leader, and Leah's anger is resentment too, and he doesn't think it's just the old usual resentment aimed at him and his kind. That's something to keep an eye on.
Seth matches his sister toe to toe, though, unblinking, and almost before the conflict becomes a conflict at all Leah takes a step back, darts an angry look at Natasha and a look of loathing at Jasper, and turns to sprint for the woods. She's a wolf before she makes the trees, and the rustling of leaves is finished only a few seconds later. Seth sighs a little and turns back to Jasper, but he shakes his head.
"Don't worry. We're still what we are. But now that it's just you, there is something else you should know." Jasper glances at Natasha, and back to Seth. "The Volturi are coming, sometime soon, and before they get here, she'll be changed. At her own request."
Before Seth can react more than his gaping stare, Jasper tips his head toward Natasha, leaving the floor to her for the explanation, however much she wants to give. It's not exactly the same situation as Bella's had been, but if this is going to be a problem for the pack, they need to know now.
Natasha doesn't move when Leah begins to lash out and instead stands calm, hands still folded before her as she watches the woman with interest before Seth steps in. The woman obviously doesn't like her and Natasha isn't particularly sure why, nor does she find herself concerned over it. It's not the first time she's been considered as unfavorable before meeting someone properly, and with the way the news has been reporting her she can only imagine the image that's being painted of her out there right now.
She watches as Leah finally backs down and sprints away, and only then does her attention turn back to Seth to find him gaping at her at Jasper's announcement. "If you know who I am then I think that you know the Volturi are only a fraction of my worries right now." She cracks a small smile that doesn't reach her eyes. "This is one of the only paths of safety for me, and it's being done at my request. I might not be around much longer unless I take action. And it'll be easier for me to hold my own when a portal opens in the sky to unleash unholy hell on Manhattan next time. Last time I think I just got really lucky."
Her attention then moves to Jasper, and she reaches out to place a hand on his arm with a gentle touch before it slips down to lace her fingers between his own. "Those were the important factors that we wanted to update you on. The family is returning and we should be getting back to Alice, they're still briefing me on what I should expect with everybody's abilities." She gives Seth a subtle wink. "I like to be prepared."
"You want to be one of those bloodsuckers?" Seth blurts, and his ears turn bright red immediately and he darts a glance at Jasper's face, but he still has the same quiet, patient smile. It's understandable. For all he knows, the insults may even be an instinct. Jasper knows perfectly well that vampires and werewolves are meant to be enemies. Their own situation is...decidedly unique.
He opens his fingers when Natasha's hand slides down his arm, and gives her hand a careful, firm squeeze. "Carlisle will change her when they arrive," he says steadily, "we'll watch over her during her transformation, we'll take her hunting when she opens her eyes again. Alice and Natasha and myself have an understanding."
This new announcement, coming so hard on the heels of the news that the Black Widow is going to be a vampire soon because she wants to be, is clearly just a little too much for Seth to handle gracefully. He's still gaping, and his emotions are seesawing a little wildly between concern and disgust and disbelief and the exhilaration he's still riding on from getting to meet Natasha Romanoff in the first place. Even Jasper can't really tell them apart anymore. "That's all we had to say," he says with a respectful nod. "We won't keep you. Pleasure to see you again, Seth. Please give my regards to Sam and the rest of the pack, whatever they'd like to do with them."
The wry well-wishes are enough for Seth to collect himself a little more, and he nods back jerkily before taking a step back. "Um, nice to see you too. Nice to meet you. I guess we'll, um. Come talk to us when the, the other bloodsuckers get close enough to start making trouble and we'll see what we can do, I guess."
"That's kind of you, I'll do that," Jasper says, still unmoving, Natasha's palm warm in his hand. She's the one who reached for him first, and Jasper knows that hadn't passed Seth's notice. He looks down at their joined hands for a long moment, then takes another step back before turning and trotting for the bushes. Jasper doesn't move until he hears the transformation and the gallop of paws heading away from them, back toward the shore. "I think that went decidedly well, considering all we had for them was bad news."
Despite the instant urge to give Seth a look at the immediate protest Natasha manages to bite her tongue, and she allows Jasper to take control of the conversation once more. It's easier to take the back seat when she trusts the person she's with, and that's a rare opportunity for Natasha. Might as well take advantage of it.
"It was nice to meet you as well Seth." Another polite smile and then the boy is off, and she waits silently for Jasper to speak before giving a single nod. Her eyes linger on the spot where the boy disappeared into the woods, and it takes her a few moments to finally respond.
"Just once I want to wake up and find out that the most complicated thing going on about my day is that I forgot to go grocery shopping. But, no. Werewolves. That's fine too." She sighs, turning to lean up and kiss Jasper on the cheek before she starts to head back to the jeep. "Come on, I need to shower. Seth was nice but I need to get the residue of Leah's glare off of me."
Once they get back to the house she showers, and the day goes by somewhat painlessly. She spends the day distracted though, the look on Jasper's face at the mention of her code name one that she can't seem to wipe from her minds eye, and although a part of her knows that he'd never press, another part of her is more than aware that the rest of the family could have watched the news while they were all separated. Jasper and Alice are going to find out about her past at some point, and by the time night comes she decides that she rather it come from her than anyone else.
So after she changes into sleep sleep shorts Natasha walks downstairs, and this time she doesn't hesitate to drape herself across both Jasper and Alice, her head in Alice's lap and her legs stretched across Jasper's. "What are the chances that your family watches television or reads the paper?" She does her best to sound casual, but she's nervous. Whether it shows or not, she's unsure. "...They might not like me very much."
"What, you thought immortality brought with it some kind of peace?" Jasper teases, but he leaves it at that as they go back to the house. He'd gotten further in that conversation than he'd really expected, especially with Leah there. It's encouraging. It goes against their natures a little to even have a civil conversation with a vampire, he knows it, but that they're willing to do so and come away from that conversation with both sides having gained something, that's progress. Carlisle will likely be proud when he hears.
He fills Alice in on their wolfy conversation while Natasha showers, every last detail, including Leah's input and letting Seth know about Natasha's upcoming change. They talk about the family returning, what they'll need to do before they arrive, airing out the house, figuring out a time and a place for Natasha to be comfortable. As comfortable as anyone can be with the venom in them. Jasper admits that he doesn't like the idea of causing her that kind of pain, and Alice curls up into him and nods, her fragile face a picture of misery for a moment, before she reminds him with false cheer that she knows Natasha will be fine. They leave it at that, it's all they can do.
When Natasha comes back down and joins them, Alice's fingers card through her hair and Jasper rubs a hand along her calf slowly. "They'll love you," Alice says and drops a kiss onto Natasha's forehead. "Why on earth wouldn't they?"
She smiles up at Alice once she kiss is planted but it doesn't reach her eyes, and she glances at Jasper anxiously before sighing and letting her eyes close. The comfort that comes with being close to both of them is still so foreign, and it's almost annoying how much she can feel herself relaxing beneath gentle touches despite the fact that she'd very much like to be on edge right then.
"Seth recognized me today." She lets it linger in the air for a moment although she knows that the significance of that won't be recognized by either of them, considering that they don't watch the news at all. It's something Natasha had been grateful for.
"I'm not just hiding here because I leaked all of those files, there were things in the files that people might not be comfortable seeing." And if their family saw them then... well, Natasha wouldn't be surprised if she has quite the uphill battle ahead of her. Her eyes open as she stares up at Alice only to turn her head and tuck it against the woman's lap and look at Jasper instead. "I was raised in Russia, in a place called the Red Room." Because if they're going to find out, she wants it to be from her and not from a media source.
She tells them what she feels to be necessary, everything that would be in her file. She doesn't mention the young women she had to dispose of in the Red Room, because although there may be speculation about that nobody can prove that Natasha had to partake in it and it's not something she readily speaks about. She doesn't mention the trials that they put her through or the number of men she'd killed, but she does inform them that she was formerly an agent of the KGB. She tells them how Clint had brought her over to SHIELD, and how she always worked in the shadows, so her face being exposed so publicly is, effectively, the end of an era.
"My code name was Black Widow, which is what Seth called me when we met with him and his rabid dog." She looks up at Alice again. "If they released that then they probably released a lot more and I don't know how much of it your family knows. Or if they'll have a problem with it all." With a sigh Natasha runs her fingers through her hair before moving to sit up, suddenly restless. "I need to be changed, there are going to be people after me that may actually be able to hurt me if I stay like this, and I don't want Carlisle to decide that I'm too dangerous to be around his family."
Listening to Natasha almost perfectly echo what Jasper had said to her the night before they'd first met the Cullens—too long ago for Natasha to possibly know, she's a good spy but Natasha hadn't even been born yet—Alice can't help it, she giggles. Jasper has taken a breath to answer, but he glances at her and gives her a little nod. She knows what he was going to say, she thinks, and it should come from her.
Their girl has been through far too much, enough that Alice's heart aches for the little girl in Russia and the woman she's become, and Alice laces her fingers through Natasha's. "That's exactly what Jasper said," she says with a fond smile, slowly carding the fingers of her other hand through Natasha's hair. "Jasper killed for a long time. To survive, but that doesn't make it...any easier to bear. For either of us. But the way he looks...you can't tell as much while you're human, but when you're changed and you see him, you'll understand. Vampires are afraid of him instinctively. He thought Carlisle would decide that he was too dangerous to be around his family. That he'd been on the violent path for too long. But I told him that wouldn't happen, and that's not what happened."
She shifts to rest her cool chin against Natasha's forehead. "Carlisle won't decide that this time either," she says, with that quiet certainty that her family has grown so familiar with over the years. "I know he won't, I've seen it and once he meets you, he wants you to be a part of the family. But," she meets Jasper's eyes, "I know that isn't enough." She falls silent, forgetting to breathe while she pieces together the wording for what she's trying to say.
"Carlisle spent years with the Volturi," she says at last, deciding that head-on is the best angle after all. "He didn't approve of the way they lived, but he still spent a long time with them, and lived like they did. He doesn't know how many people he killed before choosing to live a different life. Jasper doesn't know how many, but it must be thousands. Edward went off on his own after Carlisle changed him. Rosalie killed her murderers. Emmett had trouble adjusting." She sighs a little. "Even I couldn't resist sometimes. We live the way we do because of what we've done, because we want to be better." Then she smiles, that bright smile with a hint of mischief in it. "I'm afraid you're just going to fit right in."
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moodshifter) wrote2017-02-16 01:26 pm
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Natasha isn't one of those people. He doesn't need to feel as though he's burdening her with that knowledge. So he doesn't shy away from her exploration of his scars, although he doesn't elaborate yet either. Plenty of time to tell his stories, possibly even a few he's held back from relating before, for the sake of propriety. There's something singularly fascinating about having found someone who won't shy away from anything he's done, someone he can talk to who won't brush it aside with a placating 'you never need to do that again.' Yes, it's a relief to know he won't need to be that particular flavor of monster again, but that doesn't mean it hadn't happened.
He moves easily enough when she moves him, unresisting, letting her set the pace and the position. He'd learned from his brother's mistakes, he supposes, but giving her this measure of control may have been a mistake, if she's going to use it to draw things out to this extent. His eyes never waver from her as she settles on him and smiles, and when she finally leans over to tease at him and taste, he exhales slowly and takes the risk of reaching out to slide fingers through her hair, just once before he pulls his hand back. It's a struggle not to move, but he knows he's very likely to move too quickly, with too much strength, and so he stays still, unblinking, savoring the heat from her hands and her mouth, even the warm weight on his legs as she's perched there. It's a gift, and he's going to treat it as such, but the question makes him smile and sit up just enough to be able to reach out and cup her cheek carefully.
"I am," he says simply, tracing her cheekbone with a thumb. "I'm sure, Natalia."
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Instead of letting him lie back once more Natasha takes his hand, fingers curling around it to hold it from her face, and she gives a gentle tug to slowly drag him so he can sit up fully. Rising to her knees Natasha moves up his legs only to lower herself back down in his lap, his erection resting between them comfortably so she can roll her hips with the same languid pace as before to deliver a pleasing sense of friction. As she settles herself her eyes never leave him, every shift certain with fluidity that's rooted in confidence, and this time her gaze has nothing to do with making sure that he's alright and everything to do with the simple desire to see him. An arm wraps around his shoulders as her other hand guides his to her waist, and she only looks down for a moment to move his second to rest on her hip before her attention is directly his once more.
There's no need to ask again, her faith in him almost concerning if she cared enough to take the time to analyze it, so Natasha pushes forward by leaning down and pulling him into another unhurried kiss, and this time she savors it as the arm that isn't wrapped around him moves down between them to take a firm hold of him. When she parts it's only to rise up, and this time when she holds eye contact it's because she wants to see him now, in this moment particularly, which is ridiculous; Natasha isn't the sentimental type, or she wasn't before. Perhaps she is now, and that's simply one of the things she's learned about herself by being with him and Alice.
As she lowers herself back down Natasha guides him, her hand only moving from his base when she feels him breach her so she can, instead, grab onto his shoulder and keep herself steady. She moves with patience, her grip on his bare skin tightening only once with a paired flex of her jaw as she feels him sink deeper, and when Natasha finally feels herself flush against his groin she lets out a slow and almost pleased sigh through her nose. Her arms switch, one wrapping around him comfortably while the other returns so she can run her fingers affectionately through his hair to push it out of his eyes yet again, and for a few sweet lingering moments Natasha simply stays there, basking in the way it feels to be filled by him and wondering why, this time, it's so different.
Why does she feel as if she can stay in this moment for an eternity and be just fine with that, despite having no expectation or goal behind her motivations to be here? Why is it that being this close to him, despite her vulnerability in every way imaginable, does Natasha feel safe and at peace for the first time in her short but much too long life? The answer comes so simply in her head, and so immediately that it almost startles her because it feels as if it should be complicated and terrifying, wrapped in layers of questions and doubt. It isn't, though. Natasha realizes that she loves him, and it should frighten her how deep that goes; how thoroughly it's managed to tangle itself around her despite slipping past her guard in the first place. Yet there isn't a touch of fear to be found, and Natasha has to wonder if that's a part of the whole concept of love in the first place. She hopes so. What a wonderful idea.
Although she's far from ashamed, Natasha doesn't speak her realization aloud; it's not the time. Saying it now feels as if it might not hold as much weight, because people are usually swayed emotionally in situations like this, aren't they? She can't have Jasper believing that's the case, so instead she leans in to kiss him once more with his face still firmly in the palm of her hand, and she starts to move again, hips rolling to a steady rhythm that she sets for them to start them off.
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This isn't something he's ever felt, and as she settles against him he lets his eyes fall closed, basking in the emotions pouring out of her as much as the vibrant heat everywhere they touch. And when her revelation arrives, he's in a perfect position to feel it flowing out alongside everything else. She loves him. It prompts him to look at her again, head tipped a bit to the side, but he holds onto the silence between them, just carefully wrapping one arm around her waist and twining the fingers of his other hand through her hair as she kisses him again.
It's important that she stay in control for this, and when he finally shifts his hips it's to answer the pace she's setting. She's fiery and sharp-edged, he loves that about her, but the care he needs to take with her, the slow pace they need to maintain, it all makes coming together like this somehow sweeter than he'd expected. The kiss lingers as they move together, and when it finally breaks, Jasper leans up to press a careful row of kisses along Natasha's jaw, finally pausing with his lips against her pulse. It's a test, so many things are, but the dry rasp of thirst in his throat barely grows any stronger as he feels her heart beating.
He looks almost dazed when he finally lifts his head again, and that's when he starts to buck his hips into hers a little more sharply. Slow and sweet is one thing, maybe it's what they've needed, but she's pushed him more times than he can count, and he's pushed himself just now. It's her turn.
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The longer Natasha falls into her comfortable pace the easier it is for her mind to slip further and further away from anything that isn't the moment she shares with him, senses heightened and sensations magnified by her hyper awareness of her own actions. His mouth travels its way down her jaw until he finds his way to her throat, and Natasha's head tilts away naturally to give him more access without concern. The careful brush of lips against skin is enough to pull a sigh from her, something dangerously close to a moan that she manages to bite back at the last second, and Natasha's eyes close as she allows herself to simply experience him while also reveling in the unconditional trust that he's somehow managed to make her feel. It's like an embrace, wrapping her up with comfort and reassurance that she knows she can find all too addicting if she isn't careful. Natasha has trusted before, but she's never trusted blindly until Jasper came into her life, and the disregard for protocol and procedure that comes with that is so liberating that she's sure she could almost get high off of it if she doesn't keep herself in check.
He lifts his head again and that's her cue to turn her head back, meeting his eye as the rhythm of her hips stays consistent, and for a moment she's not certain what that look in his eye is until he suddenly thrusts up into her with more force than before, making her fingers dig into his shoulder and her lips part in a short but surprised gasp at the same time. For a second her lashes flutter, eyes closing as she feels herself tighten around him in every way; the arm around him drags him closer, the fingers in his shoulder digging into his skin a little and her walls hugging him tighter than before until she forces herself to relax. She knows what he's doing, and she knows why as well... it takes more effort than she'd like to not lean back and drag him on top of her, but she can't. They have to take this in steps, so Natasha braces herself by leaning forward and letting her forehead rest against his, her body pressed against his own as she picks up her own pace to meet the new one that he's set for them. The hand on his shoulder slowly starts to relax, and her other twists into the hair with a nearly uncontrollable urge to tug and drag his head back, but she doesn't. Natasha concentrates on holding him instead, but her inconsistent gasps are no longer silent, a quiet moan slipping out whenever she feels him push his way into her to his hilt.
All of her concentration is taken by keeping herself in the moment that they've made instead of pushing them further out of it faster than either of them are ready, and after his name comes on a hushed breath she speaks in a way easiest for her, simply to avoid having to split her attention from exactly where it is now. "Byt' ostorozhen." She leans in for another kiss, and this time there's a smile in it. "YA ne znayu, mogu li ya byt' takim zhe sil'nym, kak ty."
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"Ne vsegda," he whispers, "ne dlja namnogo dol'she." It's rare that anyone like him is graced with this level of trust from a human, and especially when it's someone like Natasha, who trusts only when she's certain. He takes a slow breath, smoothing both hands down her back and up again, resting at her shoulders to keep her close as he moves faster again, rolling his hips, deliberately seeking out the little shifts that pull those soft moans from her.
It's a balancing act, it takes concentration, and at first he doesn't notice his own slow build of heat at the base of his spine, until she moves against him just right and her name escapes him in a whisper that sounds almost surprised. He leans back just enough to look up at her, open and unguarded and still dazed with all of this, but he wants to see her when she comes undone, he wants to know what that looks like and keep it.
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He's learning her body quickly, rocking into her with consistency and holding her stable, and soon he's pulling her soft gasps and light sounds to the surface with every roll of his hips. By the time she manages to look at him she can feel it looming, that slow build getting tighter and tighter until it's too consuming for her to hold off anymore, even though she wishes it wasn't. If Natasha had it her way she could stay there, but it's not realistic, and she can see in his eyes that he's staring at her for the same reason that she's looking at him. She wants to see him unravel beneath her first, but he's pushing her too far, and when Natasha realizes that she can no longer keep her own climax at bay her hands move to take his face between them, wanting nothing more in that moment to see him completely.
When it comes it's a struggle to keep her eyes open, and although no sound is released when her lips part Natasha's body gives him every signal he needs. Euphoria spikes, the rhythm they've found quickens just a bit as she chases the sensation that he's managed to send coursing through her, and Natasha's legs press tighter against his thighs on either side of him so she can keep herself steady throughout all of it. This time when she kisses him its deeper and to muffle the low but lingering moan she can't fight off, and once it subsides she finds herself staying on him, not yet ready to disconnect. That means that it's over, and Natasha, despite her lack of sentimentality, wants to hold on just a little bit longer. As long as he'll allow.
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He's never shied away from meeting her eyes and he doesn't look away now, still focused so much on everything her as he crests and subsides in a sharp-edged wave. He doesn't make any move to shift her, either, hands still carefully secure on her shoulders as he lets out a slow exhale and leans into the kiss. He doesn't get tired, doesn't get sore or need to shift position, he can stay like this with her as long as she wants.
But he will smile and trail his lips along her mouth to kiss the edge of her jaw, with a satisfied little sound. "Alice did not make a mention of any of that," he murmurs against her skin. "Little minx that she is."
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"Maybe she didn't want to ruin the surprise," she manages after a few moments, and after a thoughtful silence she pulls back just enough to catch his eye with a playful glint shining in her own. "Or maybe she thought you'd get scared and back out if she told you. And you know what?" Natasha leans in until her lips brush against his ear, and her whisper is almost sing-song with tease, "I bet she didn't even leave the house." A grin slips into her words, "she knows where the fun is really at."
It takes a few minutes before Natasha can drag herself off of him, and once she does she half-lies, half-collapses into the bed with a content hum and no effort to cover herself. "Don't look smug." She's not even looking at his face, her eyes closed. "Appreciate it while you still can, soon you're not going to be able to wear me out."
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The little minx herself dances back upstairs half an hour later, lingering in the doorway with a warm smile as she sees the two of them tangled together beneath a sheet. Of course Alice had known, she hadn't known absolutely when it would happen, but she'd known Jasper and Natasha would come together at least once while Natasha was still human. There's a little warm curl beneath her heart as she moves across the room and delicately picks up the thick duvet from the floor, tosses it over them and climbs underneath to press against Natasha's other side. They won't sleep, but Natasha might just manage to sleep and maybe a vampire on either side will keep away the nightmares.
The next morning, Alice disappears back downstairs to put together breakfast for Natasha while Jasper explains the Cullen family's relationship with the local werewolves. It moves into a discussion of the origin of the pack, what Jasper knows of it, and the ways these werewolves differ from the various myths and legends humanity has grown around them. They're still talking when they climb into Emmett's jeep and Jasper pulls onto the street and starts the drive toward the reservation.
"It's a good idea to speak to them before the rest of the family returns," he continues, "explain the situation to the new alpha before the Volturi turn up like a bad penny, but Alice finds them somewhat...off-putting. She can't see them in her visions."
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When she finally wakes up the motions that she goes through are dangerously close to a routine, and after thanking Alice for making breakfast with a kiss that only almost bordered on inappropriate for a kitchen setting she lets Jasper brief her on the local werewolf clan. ...Pack. Whatever, it's all absolutely ridiculous and Natasha still isn't sure she's willing to accept that werewolves even exist in the first place.
But apparently they do because now she's in a jeep, and Jasper is driving her to meet the new Alpha as Natasha sits in the passenger seat, quietly contemplating her life choices. It's the mention of the Volturi that brings her back to the present, and Natasha's head doesn't turn from staring off ahead as she responds. "She can stay home if they make her uncomfortable, it's not necessary for more than two of us to approach in the first place. From what you've told me, we want to keep the peace. Two is a friendly visit, three is a possible threat."
Once they arrive Natasha seems to visibly relax, although her anxiety and wariness spike. Then she does something strange, something subtle but layered with meaning; Natasha gives Jasper an apologetic frown before building her walls up and neutralizing her emotions. They're dogs, after all, they can smell when she's nervous, can't they? It's the acknowledgement, though, that she's doing it for them, and not for him, that catches even Natasha off guard. Since when has she ever been apologetic for hiding?
She steps out of the jeep and closes the door, but after that Natasha's hands slip into the back pockets of her jeans as she waits for Jasper to move. She'll follow his lead, for now.
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"Jasper!"
—since Seth took over after Jacob left. An impossibly young-looking boy, fifteen at most, comes bouncing out of the forest, deep tan and dark neatly cut hair, all wide eyes and bright smiles, sprinting across the grass and stopping on a dime a few feet back, bouncing on his toes. Even if you didn't know what he was, the word puppy would absolutely cross your mind. Jasper smiles back without showing his teeth, which results in an affectionate little smirk.
"Seth. Hello, Leah," he calls past Seth to the bear-sized gray and silver wolf that's slunk out of the woods, but barely, crouching at the edge of the trees and staring balefully. Leah growls and shakes herself, but she doesn't advance any farther, so Jasper will take that to mean she'll hold to the peace agreement. He turns his attention back to Seth, not letting any of his tension show, hands in his pockets and everything. "Seth, this is Natasha. She's a part of the family now. Natasha, this is Seth Clearwater, the alpha of the wolves around here. All of them now, isn't that right? Both packs, since Sam stepped down?"
Seth, who's been staring a little flabbergasted at the human standing so close to the vampire everyone knows has the hardest time around humans, takes a moment to notice he's been asked something. "What? Oh! Uh, yeah, that's me." He brushes a hand down his hair nervously and holds it out, straightening his shoulders, doing his best to look like a grown-up. "Hi."
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"Hello, Seth. It's a pleasure to meet you." She'd think that Jasper would have told her that she was dealing with a damn teenager, but he probably finds it amusing. That strikes her as his type of humor.
"I'm afraid that this isn't a personal visit, there are some important details that we have to go over with you. Is there anywhere that we can speak comfortably? Perhaps with those you think should be around for a briefing." Finally, she glances at the large wolf stalking yards away. "Preferably in a form where I can communicate with them more easily, although that's not necessary." She looks back at Seth, and she offers him a sweet smile. "You'll have to forgive me for any social blunders I might make, this is my first encounter with anyone of your kind. I'm still somewhat new to this side of the world. ...Well." Natasha winces and looks up, head staying in place. "Vampires and wolves, at least."
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"Oh wow," Seth whispers when she's finished speaking, and it takes him a moment to remember he's the alpha and he's been asked to do alpha things like arrange a meeting. "Um, oh, right. Don't mind Leah, she just, um. She doesn't really like any of the Cullens."
The snarl the bristling Leah lets out at this crass understatement is matched immediately by Jasper's smirk. It's all he can do not to wrinkle his nose, honestly, the stench when they're in wolf-form is a thousand times worse, but he's being good. "A place for a briefing might be somewhat complicated," he murmurs. "We don't go on Quielute land, and Quielutes won't willingly come to the house. It's cold territory."
Seth flushes a little and ducks his head. "I mean, we are supposed to be enemies," he points out in a helpless little mutter. "We're still enemies to other vampires. We just have, you know. A truce with the Cullens. They're okay." Then he stands a little straighter again, with squarer shoulders again. "But Jasper is right. We fought together here. It's probably the best place for both of us to meet. Vampires and werewolves, I mean. Are you the Black Widow?" he finally blurts out.
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"Well then, it looks as if the briefing will have to take place here, unless you'd prefer me to speak with you and your pack alone. And that's a shame." Her eyes move to the large wolf and her sweet smile is still in place, voice nothing less than diplomatic. "I've only heard good things about all of you." It's a blatant, bold faced lie that she delivers with such democracy that accusing her of falsehoods would come off as nothing less than crass and unjustified, but she barely lingers before her attention is back on Seth. He's the one worth concentrating on here, apparently.
"Considering that the Cullens are the only ones I know and the others that I've heard about don't sound particularly enjoyable, I'm inclined to believe your reasoning." And then he asks, and despite herself Natasha finds herself smiling a little and looking downcast for only a moment. "I see that you've been watching the news. Yes." She looks back at Seth without hesitation. "But people usually call me Natasha." Her grin turns somewhat impish, and she gives Seth a little wink. Nothing wrong with using her own reputation to her advantage. "The ones who call me Black Widow usually don't stick around."
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"Wow," Seth whispers, and it's clearly not something he'd meant to say out loud. "Er. I mean. Why are you here?" he asks instead, looking at Jasper.
"Our old friends the Volturi are perking up again," he says and explains what had happened: the raid—leaving Natasha's part out of it—and his imprisonment, the tentative experiments, his escape with Natasha's help, holing up in the woods to keep from being located again. "And it seems you already know about that little data leak that Natasha went ahead with," he glances at her and back to Seth, and barely even hesitated over the 'Natasha' instead of his customary 'Natalia', "but included in those files was the report of my interment and the results of their experiments, which—according to Alice—the Volturi will try to twist into 'revealing our existence.'"
At some point during his recitation, Leah had bounded into the woods and come back again in a torn shirt and shorts, standing behind Seth and closer to Natasha, as far as she can get from Jasper while still being a part of the discussion. Her routine glower is in full force, but she looks interested in spite of herself. "So they're coming back here and we're supposed to just clean this up for you?"
"Leah!" Seth says, aggrieved both as the Alpha responsible for an ornery packmate and as an embarrassed little brother, but Jasper shakes his head.
"Of course we'd never ask such a thing. The rest of the family is coming back. We wanted to warn you of that as well, in advance. But we're not recruiting witnesses as we did last time. It may well come to a fight." Unlike Carlisle's reluctance, Jasper's having difficulty masking the anticipatory smile. He wants nothing more than to be rid of the Volturi for good, even if that might cause a power shift none of them can predict.
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"Jasper informed me that having his kind in the area effects your pack, we just wanted to make sure that you were updated on everything that's going on. As he mentioned, it's very possible that this will end in violence." Guaranteed, if she has anything to do with it, but Natasha keeps that part to herself. "Neither of us would ask you to put you or yours in danger, this is just a courtesy visit. We're going to try to keep it as short and civil as possible." A pause. "I have a feeling that it's not going to stay that way, but I've been wrong before. As I've mentioned, I'm new to all of this so I'm sure there are plenty of unforeseen situations that can befall us."
There's barely a pause before she continues. "But we'll win, if it comes down to that."
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"Leah, go back to the pack," he orders, scowling and pointing. "Just, go on, it's just Jazz, I'm fine, I don't need backup, go tell Sam what's happening."
Leah gets in Seth's face immediately, and Jasper doesn't move a muscle, attuned carefully to the emotional state of both wolves. Seth's irritation and embarrassment comes on more than one level, likely as a little brother and as a leader, and Leah's anger is resentment too, and he doesn't think it's just the old usual resentment aimed at him and his kind. That's something to keep an eye on.
Seth matches his sister toe to toe, though, unblinking, and almost before the conflict becomes a conflict at all Leah takes a step back, darts an angry look at Natasha and a look of loathing at Jasper, and turns to sprint for the woods. She's a wolf before she makes the trees, and the rustling of leaves is finished only a few seconds later. Seth sighs a little and turns back to Jasper, but he shakes his head.
"Don't worry. We're still what we are. But now that it's just you, there is something else you should know." Jasper glances at Natasha, and back to Seth. "The Volturi are coming, sometime soon, and before they get here, she'll be changed. At her own request."
Before Seth can react more than his gaping stare, Jasper tips his head toward Natasha, leaving the floor to her for the explanation, however much she wants to give. It's not exactly the same situation as Bella's had been, but if this is going to be a problem for the pack, they need to know now.
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She watches as Leah finally backs down and sprints away, and only then does her attention turn back to Seth to find him gaping at her at Jasper's announcement. "If you know who I am then I think that you know the Volturi are only a fraction of my worries right now." She cracks a small smile that doesn't reach her eyes. "This is one of the only paths of safety for me, and it's being done at my request. I might not be around much longer unless I take action. And it'll be easier for me to hold my own when a portal opens in the sky to unleash unholy hell on Manhattan next time. Last time I think I just got really lucky."
Her attention then moves to Jasper, and she reaches out to place a hand on his arm with a gentle touch before it slips down to lace her fingers between his own. "Those were the important factors that we wanted to update you on. The family is returning and we should be getting back to Alice, they're still briefing me on what I should expect with everybody's abilities." She gives Seth a subtle wink. "I like to be prepared."
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He opens his fingers when Natasha's hand slides down his arm, and gives her hand a careful, firm squeeze. "Carlisle will change her when they arrive," he says steadily, "we'll watch over her during her transformation, we'll take her hunting when she opens her eyes again. Alice and Natasha and myself have an understanding."
This new announcement, coming so hard on the heels of the news that the Black Widow is going to be a vampire soon because she wants to be, is clearly just a little too much for Seth to handle gracefully. He's still gaping, and his emotions are seesawing a little wildly between concern and disgust and disbelief and the exhilaration he's still riding on from getting to meet Natasha Romanoff in the first place. Even Jasper can't really tell them apart anymore. "That's all we had to say," he says with a respectful nod. "We won't keep you. Pleasure to see you again, Seth. Please give my regards to Sam and the rest of the pack, whatever they'd like to do with them."
The wry well-wishes are enough for Seth to collect himself a little more, and he nods back jerkily before taking a step back. "Um, nice to see you too. Nice to meet you. I guess we'll, um. Come talk to us when the, the other bloodsuckers get close enough to start making trouble and we'll see what we can do, I guess."
"That's kind of you, I'll do that," Jasper says, still unmoving, Natasha's palm warm in his hand. She's the one who reached for him first, and Jasper knows that hadn't passed Seth's notice. He looks down at their joined hands for a long moment, then takes another step back before turning and trotting for the bushes. Jasper doesn't move until he hears the transformation and the gallop of paws heading away from them, back toward the shore. "I think that went decidedly well, considering all we had for them was bad news."
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"It was nice to meet you as well Seth." Another polite smile and then the boy is off, and she waits silently for Jasper to speak before giving a single nod. Her eyes linger on the spot where the boy disappeared into the woods, and it takes her a few moments to finally respond.
"Just once I want to wake up and find out that the most complicated thing going on about my day is that I forgot to go grocery shopping. But, no. Werewolves. That's fine too." She sighs, turning to lean up and kiss Jasper on the cheek before she starts to head back to the jeep. "Come on, I need to shower. Seth was nice but I need to get the residue of Leah's glare off of me."
Once they get back to the house she showers, and the day goes by somewhat painlessly. She spends the day distracted though, the look on Jasper's face at the mention of her code name one that she can't seem to wipe from her minds eye, and although a part of her knows that he'd never press, another part of her is more than aware that the rest of the family could have watched the news while they were all separated. Jasper and Alice are going to find out about her past at some point, and by the time night comes she decides that she rather it come from her than anyone else.
So after she changes into sleep sleep shorts Natasha walks downstairs, and this time she doesn't hesitate to drape herself across both Jasper and Alice, her head in Alice's lap and her legs stretched across Jasper's. "What are the chances that your family watches television or reads the paper?" She does her best to sound casual, but she's nervous. Whether it shows or not, she's unsure. "...They might not like me very much."
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He fills Alice in on their wolfy conversation while Natasha showers, every last detail, including Leah's input and letting Seth know about Natasha's upcoming change. They talk about the family returning, what they'll need to do before they arrive, airing out the house, figuring out a time and a place for Natasha to be comfortable. As comfortable as anyone can be with the venom in them. Jasper admits that he doesn't like the idea of causing her that kind of pain, and Alice curls up into him and nods, her fragile face a picture of misery for a moment, before she reminds him with false cheer that she knows Natasha will be fine. They leave it at that, it's all they can do.
When Natasha comes back down and joins them, Alice's fingers card through her hair and Jasper rubs a hand along her calf slowly. "They'll love you," Alice says and drops a kiss onto Natasha's forehead. "Why on earth wouldn't they?"
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"Seth recognized me today." She lets it linger in the air for a moment although she knows that the significance of that won't be recognized by either of them, considering that they don't watch the news at all. It's something Natasha had been grateful for.
"I'm not just hiding here because I leaked all of those files, there were things in the files that people might not be comfortable seeing." And if their family saw them then... well, Natasha wouldn't be surprised if she has quite the uphill battle ahead of her. Her eyes open as she stares up at Alice only to turn her head and tuck it against the woman's lap and look at Jasper instead. "I was raised in Russia, in a place called the Red Room." Because if they're going to find out, she wants it to be from her and not from a media source.
She tells them what she feels to be necessary, everything that would be in her file. She doesn't mention the young women she had to dispose of in the Red Room, because although there may be speculation about that nobody can prove that Natasha had to partake in it and it's not something she readily speaks about. She doesn't mention the trials that they put her through or the number of men she'd killed, but she does inform them that she was formerly an agent of the KGB. She tells them how Clint had brought her over to SHIELD, and how she always worked in the shadows, so her face being exposed so publicly is, effectively, the end of an era.
"My code name was Black Widow, which is what Seth called me when we met with him and his rabid dog." She looks up at Alice again. "If they released that then they probably released a lot more and I don't know how much of it your family knows. Or if they'll have a problem with it all." With a sigh Natasha runs her fingers through her hair before moving to sit up, suddenly restless. "I need to be changed, there are going to be people after me that may actually be able to hurt me if I stay like this, and I don't want Carlisle to decide that I'm too dangerous to be around his family."
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Their girl has been through far too much, enough that Alice's heart aches for the little girl in Russia and the woman she's become, and Alice laces her fingers through Natasha's. "That's exactly what Jasper said," she says with a fond smile, slowly carding the fingers of her other hand through Natasha's hair. "Jasper killed for a long time. To survive, but that doesn't make it...any easier to bear. For either of us. But the way he looks...you can't tell as much while you're human, but when you're changed and you see him, you'll understand. Vampires are afraid of him instinctively. He thought Carlisle would decide that he was too dangerous to be around his family. That he'd been on the violent path for too long. But I told him that wouldn't happen, and that's not what happened."
She shifts to rest her cool chin against Natasha's forehead. "Carlisle won't decide that this time either," she says, with that quiet certainty that her family has grown so familiar with over the years. "I know he won't, I've seen it and once he meets you, he wants you to be a part of the family. But," she meets Jasper's eyes, "I know that isn't enough." She falls silent, forgetting to breathe while she pieces together the wording for what she's trying to say.
"Carlisle spent years with the Volturi," she says at last, deciding that head-on is the best angle after all. "He didn't approve of the way they lived, but he still spent a long time with them, and lived like they did. He doesn't know how many people he killed before choosing to live a different life. Jasper doesn't know how many, but it must be thousands. Edward went off on his own after Carlisle changed him. Rosalie killed her murderers. Emmett had trouble adjusting." She sighs a little. "Even I couldn't resist sometimes. We live the way we do because of what we've done, because we want to be better." Then she smiles, that bright smile with a hint of mischief in it. "I'm afraid you're just going to fit right in."