Alice is talking rapidly to Edward, not so quickly that Natasha probably can't follow, but certainly faster than usual. She'd seen all three of the Volturi but only their four most trusted aides, Jane and Alec and Felix and Dmitri, no vast array of followers like they'd brought along ten years ago. It's winter in her vision, a thick crust of old snow. They're not coming this minute, and he relaxes visibly at that, able to turn more of his attention to Natasha.
"It would, at that," he says darkly. "And any research on that 'alternate species' that happened to be released, they wouldn't look too kindly on that either." He can hear Edward on the other end of the phone, and even Carlisle in the background, saying they'll wrap up their lives in Calgary and start back toward Forks as soon as they can.
"It's a capital crime," he says briskly, falling back into the reassurance of that military briefing they both find so comfortable. "To bring attention, to make a scene. We could argue until we ran out of air, and I'm sure Carlisle will, that I was held against my will and my escape was my only survival, but that won't change the letter of their law."
"Well fuck their law." She says it simply, eyes moving back to Alice as she barely hears voices on the other end of the phone, and Natasha's obviously deep in thought as her eyes move to the window. This is her fault for the leak in the first place, and even if Jasper or Alice won't blame her for that or say that they understood why it was necessary, she knows it to be the case.
Every decision that she's made in the past few weeks has been painfully reckless and Natasha knows it, but who can blame her? She's never made choices for herself before, perhaps she's getting a little high off of the simply ability to do so. Perhaps she doesn't consider her own mortality something to be coveted, or maybe Natasha has seen into a world where being just her will never truly be enough.
It's a world filled with gods and monsters, aliens and magic and it's all so far over her head that she feels as if she's drowning in it. Her choice to come here, it wasn't a choice to run. She's still going to make up for the bad of her past, but now she's going to do it on her terms, and why can't she have both? Why can't she have redemption and love? She doesn't deserve it, but since when has Natasha Romanoff let the world tell her exactly what she deserves.
"I'm useless like this." Her eyes move to Jasper suddenly as if she's made her mind, a toil of emotions twisting around within her until she finally settles on steel certainty, fortified with determination. "You'll have to change me before they get here." Simple. As if offering a forgotten umbrella in the rain.
Most of Jasper's attention is divided between watching Alice's emotional state carefully as it winds down from the spike of panic, and listening to Edward's side of the conversation and everyone in the background—Rose sounding irritated that they're uprooting themselves again, Emmett looking forward to getting back to familiar territory, not enough bears around Calgary it seems, Carlisle and Esme starting their plans—but at that, Jasper's head snaps around to stare at Natasha in undisguised shock.
She's a tangle of feelings, but there's a blue streak of certainty in her running through it all, and it takes him a moment to find his tongue. "Natalia, you know that's not something we'd insist upon," he says, and he can hear the helpless bewildered note in his own voice. She's making this decision based on so little, and she's so firm with it, he isn't certain there isn't anything he could say to dissuade her.
That said, he isn't certain he ought to, or even that he'd want to. Edward had agonized for more than a year over turning Bella, nearly lost her thanks to his reluctance, but neither Jasper nor Alice have any qualms about Natasha's human life being over too soon. They know something of what she's been through, Jasper's seen what she's capable of just as a human.
Instead of continuing on that line, he falls silent and wraps an arm around her waist. "We'll have time to prepare you for it," he murmurs, watching Alice again as she's wrapping up her conversation, then looking back down at Natasha. "I can't change you myself. It's up to Alice whether she wants to risk that."
"I didn't hear you insisting upon it," she counters, looking up at him with a simple shrug. "And if you did I would have told you to mind your own business, I think you know me well enough by now to know that. This has nothing to do with that. It's the right choice to make." In the grand scheme of things, at least. Her defensive exterior seems to soften when he wraps his arm around her waist, and Natasha can't help herself but let her head lean into him as her hand rests softly on his middle, holding him close with a soft touch that doesn't try to trap him there but instead shows that he's welcome.
She waits until Alice is off of the phone before she continues. "The things that you do, I'm not comfortable with them because I know them." She looks up at Jasper with a frown before glancing back at Alice. "I'm comfortable with them because I've seen worse. I've fought worse, I've fought things that aren't organic, things that are... horrifying. That could kill even you, after I've seen what they're capable of. I've seen what a real nightmare looks like, it doesn't have cold skin and super speed."
For only a moment Natasha's eyes close, the Chitauri monstrosities flashing behind her lids in hoards, Hulk chasing her through the tight confines of a helicarrier, a literal god trying to terrify her from behind a glass prison... they open again. "Just because I'm here and I want to-" she pauses, because for some reason saying it is harder than her demand for them to take her mortality away, "-I want to try, with you... with both of you, I still have a lot of red in my ledger. More than I thought, apparently." The last part comes out quietly, guilt twisting through her before she pushes it away. Not behind a wall, but away completely, because now isn't the time.
"I'm not going to stop trying to fix everything. There are people out there who need me and I'm not capable of solving all of the problems I should be able to solve the way that I am now. I won't live long enough." Another statement made as fact. "I want to be the person that I'm supposed to be, not the one that I'm made into. I can start here." She looks up at Jasper once more, a frown tugging at the corners of her mouth. "And I'll be damned if I sit back and let you fight the first battle I've been here for without me. So you need to change me." She looks back at Alice now, and she shrugs. "I don't do useless."
The vision had become clearer as she'd talked it over with Edward, as sometimes happens—it helps when someone else is seeing what she's seeing—and when she hangs up, she's much calmer, thinking ahead to the plans they need to make, the preparations. It takes her a few moments to catch up to what Natasha is saying. She listens quietly as she sets her phone aside, and when Natasha looks at Alice, she reaches out to slip her fingers between Natasha's.
"I saw us," she says softly, eyes roving Natasha's face, taking in the human flush on her cheeks, her lovely deep eyes, the rise and fall of breath, all her micro-movements that will be frozen when she's turned. "I saw you, Tash, I saw us standing between Jasper and the Volturi. We're going to fight together." She tucks Natasha's hair behind her ear with her other hand. "I've seen you changed. You're so beautiful. I can't wait to meet you. ...but I'm not sure I..." She swallows, just thinking of how difficult it would be to bite Natasha, and she leans into Jasper's hand when he sets it on her shoulder.
"The Volturi won't be here for weeks," she says after a few moments of silence. "Carlisle and the others will come back next week. We don't need to do anything now. We still have time."
Natasha cracks a small smile at the nickname once more, and it only grows into a confident smirk as Alice continues. "Damn right we do. See?" She looks up at Jasper and grins, reaching up with the hand that Alice isn't holding so she can brush his hair out of his eyes. "We're standing between you and the Volturi. I may not know much about vampires but I'm pretty sure that Alice and I are a terrifying team, they'll probably, you know." She wrinkles her nose and looks back at Alice. "Just turn around and walk the other way again, if they know what's good for them. We'll be fine."
Her smile fades a little, and Natasha squeezes Alice's hand tightly in reassurance before she looks back up at Jasper. "YA ne dopushchu, chtoby s toboy chto-nibud' sluchilos', Dzhasper, obeshchayu. I ya ne dayu obeshchaniy, kotoryye ya ne mogu soblyudat'." She lets silence fall between them for a moment, her words settling, and she can feel the tension. The Volturi, whoever they are, are significant to both Jasper and Alice and their culture, and Natasha knows what it feels like to learn that you're being hunted. So she does the only thing she can think of. She tries to make it better.
"Enough of that then. We have time, we'll wait until your family gets here to make a solid plan." She reaches up once more to drag Jasper down so she can plant a soft kiss on his cheek, and then she turns to look at Alice, taking her face in both of Natasha's hands. "And you, little miss Prophet, you know I'm not going anywhere and we're going to handle this. So, right now, enough." She pulls Alice's head a little closer to plant a soft kiss on her forehead before she grabs her hand, and Natasha grabs Jasper's with the other before she drags them both to the stove.
"Now. Your human is freaking starving, and both of you have spent all day running off and hunting and I have to actually put out effort to make my meals. So you're both cooking me dinner." It's not a request, but at least she pairs it with a sweet smile and a flutter of lashes. "I'll teach you if you want."
As it had been about a century since Alice had attempted to cook anything, and even longer for Jasper, they both accept the offer, and the afternoon spent in the kitchen is warmly domestic. Eventually Alice puts music on, the CD of classics from the 30s and 40s still in the stereo, and there's a little dancing here and there in between cooking. They make far more food than Natasha could eat in one night, planning ahead for the rest of the week, and they both sit with her and talk while she eats.
It's a good time to tell her about their previous encounters with the Volturi: Edward's frantic attempts at suicide-by-rule-breaking, Victoria's newborn army that had come after them—Alice speaks sadly of Bree Tanner, the little sister they'd barely known but had already accepted—and finally the almost-clash when Aro had brought dozens of his followers to Forks because of a willful misunderstanding. Only Alice sharing her violent death-filled vision of the future had dissuaded Aro from following through immediately on his attempt to slaughter the family and all of their allies, giving them enough time to prove, lawfully, that Renesmee would not be a threat. They'd been forced to follow their own laws and had retreated, but Alice had always known Aro hadn't forgotten about her, or about Edward.
In between the stories, they tell her about the family and how they'd all come together, Edward first and then Esme, Rose and then Emmett, Alice and Jasper attaching themselves to the family several years later, no one new until Edward had met Bella, and everything that had followed. It's a long conversation, lasting through dinner, washing up, putting away the other food they'd made, and by the end of it, the three of them are curled together on the couch with the fireplace blazing softly against the chill of the house.
"...so this has sort of happened to us before," Alice says with a little shrug from her place curled on Natasha's lap with her legs draped over Jasper's. "Although I hope it will be a little less dramatic this time."
During the duration of dinner, Natasha does a lot of listening. She doesn't speak much other than asking appropriate questions as they arise, but other than that she simply absorbs all of the data they give her to file away important information she may need in the future. They've had quite a journey together it seems, but it's nothing more than what she would expect for them after knowing how long they've been together. It's another reason why she's so dedicated to giving this a chance; it can't be easy, letting a new person in on something that's so established and intimate. The fact that both Alice and Jasper are trying makes Natasha want to try, and she's particularly more attentive as they tell her everything because of it.
"I don't do dramatic," she promises with a small smile, one arm wrapped around Alice's middle as the other drapes across the back of the couch where her fingertips play at the hem of Jasper's sleeve. "The Volturi..." she sighs, rolling her eyes a little. "It's good to know that corrupt systems of power don't end with mortality, things would be far too boring." She looks between the two of them before her eyes move to the window, and Natasha wrestles with her own uncertainty before she finally gives a proper response.
"I've dealt with systems like that before. I've been part of them actually, on a more dramatic scale but still." She shakes her head. "Maybe if we're lucky this isn't going to end with violence. I've been a diplomat before, I've had extensive training in how to talk down a potentially hostile situation. I'm not saying that it'll help, but I'm hoping that there's a small chance it might. I was able to convince Tony Stark to be a team player and Hulk to come out of hiding, maybe I can convince a bunch of vampire royalty to set down their arms."
Alice and Jasper exchange a look, Jasper carefully neutral for now, Alice a little surprised at the idea of Natasha talking them down. It's a possibility, of course, and it had worked last time, barely. She hasn't seen Aro coming with nearly so many of the guard this time either. They aren't preparing for a battle. Maybe they think she'll come quietly.
"It's me they're after," she says after a few moments, glancing down with a sigh. Jasper's hand moves up to rest on her ankle, a gentle reassuring squeeze. "They're coming here because of Jasper, but that's just their excuse this time. Aro has wanted to get me to join him for years, ever since he first learned what I can do. The last time they came, it was under another excuse, it was really to try and kill everyone else so he could 'pardon' me and make me join them."
It's still chilling to think just how close they'd come, how close she'd come to losing everything, to losing Jasper, to never have this chance right now. Jasper's thumb moves along her skin and she can feel his influence, like a breath of cool air, soothing away the little hamster-wheel of panic that she hadn't even realized had begun running inside her. She reaches out to cup his cheek in a brief thank-you, then turns her head to look up at Natasha.
"I only saw a few of them. It doesn't look like they're coming to fight. But you'll need to be turned before they get here, they can't know about you."
"Ah." Natasha's eyes move to Jasper's face when she hears Alice's sigh, and she doesn't need any heightened abilities to see that he's calming her down in some way. The touch to his face with Alice's careful hand only confirms it, and Natasha starts to play with her hair, pulling it back and brushing her fingers through the short strands. "Well. Aro can take his excuses and politely shove them, because he's not getting you." She says it with certainty, and to seal her promise she presses a swift kiss to Alice's cheek. "Not after I've just managed to find you, I think I've had enough injustice for one life, hmm?"
When Alice looks up at her Natasha smiles, warm and what she hopes to be reassuring. "I'll be turned. I'd rather not fight but I'm not going to back down if one is necessary, it's not really my style." She looks at Jasper once more, eyes lingering on his face. "We're going to want to talk to Carlisle about it as soon as he gets here though, the sooner I turn and adjust the better." Natasha feels a twist of discomfort in her stomach, but it's directed at herself and nothing else.
She looks back at Alice, her smile restrained and almost sad this time. "I don't really know how I'm going to handle that much power, I have control but..." she trials off, her stare going through the woman for a second before her eyes flicker back into focus and her smile forcefully returns. "I just think it would be better to give myself time to adjust." She's already lethal and it hasn't gotten her memories that she wants to keep. Natasha isn't certain that her new decision will make that much better, but she knows that it's necessary. That's what matters.
"I told you. No more of that." She shifts, leaning back into the couch more comfortably and dragging Alice with her. "I'm not afraid of a little conflict, we'll handle it. For now," She nudges Jasper's leg with the tip of her foot, "distractions. Music, cards - no cards." She corrects suddenly with narrowed eyes at Alice. "You probably cheat."
Jasper watches the way Alice takes reassurance so easily from Natasha already, and although it's not easy to put aside thoughts that the Volturi will be coming after them again, this time they'll be facing them down with Natasha at their side. It's so strange, he thinks, that he and Alice had felt so complete before, and he feels completed in such a different way now. As if they hadn't needed anyone else until they did, and until Natasha did. As for helping her adjust, they've both been through it, everyone in the family has, and everyone in the family will help with whatever she needs. He's certain of that.
"We'll want to talk to the wolves as well," Jasper says quietly. "We owe them the news that we're staying in the area after all, I'm sure there wasn't time to tell them we were leaving. I can take Natasha," he says to Alice as just the mention of the wolves stirs a little thread of revulsion in her, "I know they disturb you. I'll be fine. I'll speak to Seth."
Obediently he rises at the pointed nudge from his girlfriend, slipping out from beneath his wife's legs to stand and blur across to the stereo. "We both cheat," he says, flashing a smile at them as he picks a CD of fast-moving big band songs, it's time for them all to dance. "Easy enough to pick up on someone feeling confident or uncertain. Considered taking a vacation to Las Vegas occasionally, but we're already fairly well-off. Ma'am?" This to Alice as he bends properly at the waist with a hand out in invitation.
She accepts, she's naturally putting her hand in his almost before he'd extended the invitation, and he spins her into a quick and easy dance to Benny Goodman.
"The wolves? Oh, right, werewolves. Because werewolves are a thing, of course. How could I have already forgotten." Natasha's eyes move between Jasper and Alice for a moment before she gives a half shrug with a small nod. "I can come with you. And don't worry. I cheat too." Her smile is slow and sly as she watches him move to the stereo, and Natasha leans back into the couch. "The trick to that is to always feel confident. It's all personal emotional manipulation, maybe I'll show you some time when I get the chance to properly beat you in a game of poker."
She watches as Alice takes his hand and she grins, settling back into the couch as she watches the two of them move, and Natasha gives an impressed little applause as they begin to move in sync. She can't remember the last time she danced for the sake of dancing, when it wasn't at a gala or charity ball that she was forced to sell her own charm at. Beyond that she really can't remember the last time she did any swing dancing. It had to have been with Clint at a family event, but the necessity for it is much less in demand than, say, a proper waltz.
She waits, studying the way that they both move in order to gain a sense of how skilled they both are, and only then does Natasha feel comfortable removing her shoes and getting off the couch to approach them in the middle of their song. She gives Jasper a little tap on the shoulder to catch his attention, giving him a playful "don't be greedy" when he turns to look at her, and once he steps back Natasha takes Alice's hand only to pull her into a quick spin.
She's rusty to her own standards but she can still deliver, and she can still lead as she moves with Alice to the sound of drums and saxophone. As the song progresses so does her movement until she's stepping rapidly with the beat, and despite the fact that Alice is taller Natasha has no problem lifting her off of her feet when the dance calls for it. By the end of it she's laughing, genuinely laughing before she spins, red hair a curtain behind her, to look up at Jasper. "Not bad," she decides, tilting her head to the side a little as she looks back at Alice with a playful smile. "I might just keep you two."
She reaches up run a finger under Jasper's chin, other hand reaching out and grabbing Alice's suddenly to spin her into Natasha's side and hold her properly. "When did you want to go talk to the wolves?"
Jasper had been half a step into taking Natasha's waist to swing her into the dance when she'd neatly sidestepped into his place and swept Alice up, and the surprise makes him laugh as he moves to one side, out of their way. He should have known, of course, Natasha would never be so obvious. He shouldn't be surprised either that she leads so well, but it does make him wonder where she'd learned to dance so well.
There's so much he doesn't know about her. The idea makes him frown a little, but he's learned enough to know just asking outright wouldn't be very welcome. She might tell him, but she wouldn't enjoy it much. He shakes it off, setting those thoughts aside as Alice's delight at being lifted comes through like the ringing of a crystal bell, and he's grinning again by the time the song ends and they come back his way. "We can only hope," he says, reaching out to tuck red hair behind her ear, as Alice links her fingers with his and squeezes briefly.
"We should talk to them soon," he continues more briskly. "Not today, but tomorrow at the latest. We've never made the new treaty conditions official with the new alpha, and I think if the Volturi are venturing back into our little corner, they ought to know. They were useful last time, or would've been, had it come to that. They might be obliged to do the same this time."
The sound of Jasper's laugh is almost musical, and Natasha realizes then that she doesn't get to hear it nearly as often as she'd like. She'll work on that, she decides; making him laugh, or at least smile, will be her new mission, and Natasha doesn't fail a mission.
"Alright," she nods when he says that they should go tomorrow, and Natasha squeezes Alice's side playfully as she listens to him. It's just an affectionate touch, to let her know that Natasha's attention is still on her, and that she doesn't want to let go. Moving with Alice is almost too easy, but she's already getting used to that; the fact that these two have somehow found a way to wriggle past her without any explanation as to how. "We'll go tomorrow then. And for now."
Natasha presses a swift kiss to Alice's cheek before releasing her, and as the next song begins she doesn't hesitate to grab Jasper's hand to spin beneath his arm and pull him a little closer. This is good, she thinks; the more time she can spend around him the better, because the more he'll adjust the safer he'll feel. She won't be turned for at least a week, and Natasha has no intention of giving up on their work together just because of it.
Dancing is a good way to go about it. The more she moves the faster her heart beats, the stronger her scent is, and it still keeps him distracted enough to keep that scent in the background so he can get used to the gradual climb. By the end she has no problem pressing against him, letting him take the lead without issue, and once the song finishes she leans up to press a swift kiss against his cheek before letting go of him and putting her hands up in surrender.
"Alright, that's enough. Your human still has a limit and she hasn't done this in a long, long time." She laughs as she says it, her eyes moving to the window to check the time. "I'm going to get in the shower and get all of this make up off of me." She turns to the stairs when she says it, glancing back at them with narrow eyes. "No peeking." She pauses, and when she looks at Alice she gives her a playful little wink. "Or at least, don't get caught."
It doesn't take her long to shower and clean herself up, and once she comes back downstairs she moves as if to walk into the living room with them before she suddenly stops. For a moment Natasha simply stands there, as if arguing with herself, but after coming to a firm decision she turns on her heel and moves into the garage instead, returning with the duffel bag that she's been living out of and all of her things.
"I'm going to -" she pauses, looking at the two of them, and she's a little nervous as her voice goes sheepish. "I can put all my things away right? Should I just... put them in your room for now?"
Alice isn't surprised, of course, when Natasha steps in to dance with her instead, but she is surprised at how it makes her feel, a little nervous and giddy like the first time Jasper had twirled her into a music-less dance on a mountain path somewhere in the Appalachians, sixty years ago. This is still so new, but it feels so familiar, it's hard to remember that being nervous would almost be expected.
As Natasha lets her go and draws Jasper in, Alice focuses past them for a moment, just a quick peek into the near future, and suddenly she's very glad she isn't able to blush. It's only a quick blip of emotion and she thinks Natasha and Jasper are too focused on each other to notice her little gasp, which she quickly covers with a bright smile, and applause when they manage a tricky little maneuver without any trouble. It's good to see them together, and a relief to see how well Jasper is doing with her, even if she won't be human for much longer.
"Take your time," she says cheerfully, winking back as she steps into Jasper's waiting arms and lets herself be swept into the next song. Her heart is in her throat when she starts whispering to him, telling him the vision she'd had when he'd been dancing with Natasha—she'd been right, he hadn't noticed the little shiver of nervousness before, but he must be noticing it now.
"...and it's, I don't know if it's going to be tonight, but it's...it will happen soon," she finishes, looking up at him anxiously, but to her relief, he just dips her deep with a faint smile. He'll need to step out, she's fairly sure, if Alice and Natasha are really going to, to do that, just being able to feel it might be too much, but they don't keep secrets. She won't keep this a secret.
By the time Natasha comes back, the music has finished and Jasper has his arms around Alice's waist at the window. She feels him give her a quick squeeze, probably in answer to the little spike of nervousness again, but she doesn't hesitate to slip away and join Natasha near the door to the garage. "Of course, if you'd like. Come on, I'll show you." It already feels like an instinct to reach for Natasha's hand as she starts for the stairs.
The fact that Alice's hand in her own doesn't even surprise her anymore is something that Natasha notices immediately; how comfortable this is, how unfairly enjoyable Alice's company has become. Natasha doesn't get attached to people let alone in such a short period of time... in reality she shouldn't even have feelings for Jasper, and yet here she is walking with Alice upstairs hand in hand because she simply wants to. Maybe they're right, she thinks. Maybe fate isn't something that she should have dismissed so quickly.
She follows Alice into her and Jasper's room, and Natasha looks over her shoulder to notice that Jasper himself hasn't come with them. She's oddly comfortable with that, finding peace in being with Alice alone, and she can't help but smile at the woman as she starts to help her unpack.
When was the last time she did this? Natasha settled in the cabin weeks ago but it was never something that she thought would last, there was always preparation to gather things again and throw them all in a bag. Everything close together and in plain sight, keep a list so you don't forget, it's a system by now and one that Natasha has gotten quite good at.
Yet now she's not trying to find the most convenient place for her things but the most accurate place. She takes the time to put her jewelry in Alice's jewelry box, sets her books up on the shelf in alphabetical order instead of shoving them with their faces out so everything can be accounted for. It's only one duffel bag worth of stuff, and yet for the first time Natasha feels as if she's moving in somewhere. It's an almost unsettling sensation, and yet liberating at the same time.
"I'll take care of those," she says aloud when they reach the bottom of the bag where way too many weapons reside. There are several guns, a cross bow, her Widow's Bite's and knives with holsters that look like they're meant to be strapped to various places. Natasha organizes them all and puts them in the closet, keeping them orderly with their corresponding ammo. She brought more weapons than clothes, probably because she uses them more. Or, at least, she did.
After she puts away her last weapon Natasha pauses, an she looks at Alice over her shoulder. "I don't think I've ever done this before," she admits finally, her voice small as she slowly moves to her feet and looks around at the progress. The room barely looks different, but to Natasha, it does. Her gaze settles on Alice. "Move in somewhere. Not... officially, anyway, I've always been ready to move again. It's never been like this."
It's comfortable, moving Natasha's things into the right places. Even her weapons find a home in the tidy closet, and Alice can't help but wonder if she'll keep them once she's changed. Most vampires, even collectors, usually don't find a use for them, but somehow she thinks Natasha might be more stubborn about that than most vampires.
As Natasha looks over her shoulder, Alice watches her glance around the room, marking all the places where she's put her things, the bits and pieces of her life. She doesn't need Jasper's ability to see how much this means, how strange it is. She slips across the rug to take Natasha's hands, and spins herself inside them, tucking herself up against Natasha's side the way she does with Jasper. It's different with someone nearly her size, they're almost nose to nose when they're barefoot. "You're here now," she says softly. Natasha's eyes are green, she thinks. She's going to remember it. "You never have to do that again."
The confidence that Alice shows to simply walk into Natasha's arms without hesitation makes her heart flutter a little, and she knows well enough to not question why. One of the reasons she's gotten so attached to Alice is because she's everything that should fear Natasha; smaller, sweeter, kinder... she's the kind of person that Nat would eat alive if she had to in the past, and yet there's no hesitation when she curls up against Natasha's side, nose to nose and staring at her eyes as if trying to find something. Natasha feels like a person around her. It's as simple as that.
Instead Natasha stares at her, searching her face for a moment before she swallows hard, and that's when it really hits her. They're staying here, which means that Natasha is staying here. So very abruptly, her journey is over, and she hasn't expected it. The fridge is filled with food for her, her things are in the closet and her makeup is now set up in the bathroom after she had to do it earlier that day. She doesn't have to do this again.
It's foreign. Surreal.
"I... don't really understand that." She admits quietly, eyes still searching Alice's face before they finally flutter down to her lips, still slightly more pink than the rest of her. Natasha moves her in her arms, bringing her more directly forward, and she stares at the woman with a strange sort of curiosity and comfort. "I like it, though." She sounds breathless, and it's because she is, although she reminds herself that she has no reason to be. "I don't understand it but I like it." It could be her recent search for physical connection, or maybe it just feels like the right thing to do when Natasha leans in, and instead of kissing Alice on the cheek she lets her lips brush against Alice's just barely; just enough for it to not be an accident.
Alice moves easily, like dancing, always like dancing, ending up with one arm set lightly around Natasha's waist, the other draped lazily over one shoulder. This is still so new for Natasha, but they have time. They'll have so much time. She can't see past the Volturi's visit, she doesn't know what will happen when they arrive, but they'll have time. She's sure of it.
The kiss isn't a surprise, but it is. It's a surprise how delicate it is, an almost-brush of warm lips against hers. It's a surprise, a good one, that Natasha is treating her as if she's breakable, just like Jasper does. Again, Alice marvels a little at how much they have in common, her husband and her girlfriend, and then she leans in to kiss back, still carefully but with a little more purpose. Her hand comes up to rest against Natasha's cheek, but her attention is focused completely on the entirely new sensation of warm, human lips against hers. She can feel Natasha's pulse everywhere they're touching, that odd little echo from different points, and it's still a surprise to her that it doesn't make her hungry, the feel and the scent of her so close, it doesn't burn in her throat or send venom running.
She's never kissed anyone but Jasper before. She can't decide if she wants to admit that or not, but she doesn't need to right now, she doesn't need to do anything but this. It's just them here, careful and slow.
The way that Natasha's stomach seems to flutter at something so simple as a kiss would be amusing if she wasn't feeling so light headed from it. She's done this countless times in more scenarios than she could possibly remember, and yet Alice, with her cool skin and amber eyes and dusty pink lips, is the first person that Natasha's ever found herself kissing because she's wanted to. There's no end goal here, no ultimate act of betrayal to pull or any covert operation going on. She's kissing Alice simply because she wants to, and it feels rebellious in a way Natasha wouldn't have expected.
She's quickly become addicting. Natasha finds herself wrapping her arms around Alice's waist and dragging her close, the kiss deepening once Alice willingly returns it, and Natasha can't help but let one hand trail up to thread through the short hair on the back of Alice's head. She's cold but she's sweet, rough in a way where she doesn't seem breakable and it's probably wrong, the way that Natasha is attracted to that. She's attracted to knowing that she can't hurt her, and even more so attracted to knowing that she, for some reason, trusts Alice to return that.
When Natasha pulls away she's slightly flushed, eyes still closed, and when they open to see Alice's face she can't stop herself from smiling with a nervous but light laugh. She pulls away just enough to take Alice's hands and Natasha doesn't know what the hell she's doing, but she knows that it feels like the right thing to do. She sits on the edge of the bed, pulling Alice forward to straddle her lap, and once she has her close again Natasha threads her fingers back into the woman's hair to pull her down into a deeper kiss, filled with affection. Her other hand finds the small of Alice's back to keep her steady although she's sure that she doesn't need it, and Natasha's fingers move slowly against the fabric of Alice's shirt, feeling the texture of her spine beneath it.
It's been a long time since Alice has had any kind of extended contact with a human, and that hadn't been anything like this, but her friendship with Bella before she'd been changed had taught her a lot about what to do, what not to do, her own limits. Even so, being with Natasha like this is easy in a way she really hadn't expected.
She's never been nervous of hurting her, she realizes as Natasha draws her forward onto the bed. She's nervous of her own inexperience. She's over a hundred, and in all that time, she's only ever been with Jasper. It seems silly to mention it, but it's going to be obvious, isn't it? Especially obvious with how certain Natasha's hands are on her, the way she pulls her close so easily, the way she makes Alice want more.
Alice's hands move over Natasha like fluttering birds, perched for a moment on her shoulders, then one slipping around her waist and her fingers just barely skimming her hair as she tips her head into the kiss, all tentative, uncertain touches. Natasha must know, she must be able to tell, and Alice hopes Jasper is long gone now, her nervousness is spiking.
There's hesitance in Alice's touch, not necessarily reluctance but a form of uncertainty that Natasha picks up on almost immediately. Her hands are moving with nervous excitement, as if unsure as to where she wants to keep them, and after a few more moments of slowly deepening their kiss Natasha finally parts, cheeks flushed and lips turned in a small smile.
"Hey." She gives a soft laugh that translates into a breathless huff, her arms wrapping around Alice's waist once more to keep her steady. "You alright? We can keep this slow..." One hand moves to brush Alice's hair from her eyes, and Natasha leans in to instead trail soft kisses down the gentle slope of her jaw and neck. When she speaks, soft lips brush against Alice's skin with her words.
"I'm just glad that I'm here with you, we don't have to get heavy handed if you're not ready for that."
"I, I haven't," she blurts out, leaning forward suddenly to hide her face in the fall of Natasha's hair. If she could blush, her cheeks would be flaming. "I mean, of course I have, but. With Jasper. There's never been anyone but Jasper."
It's easier for her hands to find purchase now, one wrapped around Natasha's shoulders and the other resting lightly on her collarbone as Alice tucks herself close. "I don't remember my human life," she continues softly, "none of it, but I, I've pieced together some things and I don't think there would have been anyone. And after I was changed, I knew I was waiting for him, so there was no reason for anyone."
Now that it's been said, she's able to raise her head and scan Natasha's face, still a little anxious as to what she might find there. "I want this. I do. I'm just..." And she giggles, and presses a hand over her face as her fingers curl around the back of Natasha's neck. "I'm nervous, even though I know what's going to happen, isn't that silly?"
At first it isn't clear exactly what Alice is talking about until she mentions Jasper, and that's when it clicks for Natasha. She's surprised, taken aback enough to actually lean back on the bed to put a bit of distance between them, holding herself up with one hand propped into the bedding. "You haven't done this with anyone other than Jasper?" She asks aloud with surprise, because although it makes sense now that Alice says it, it certainly isn't expected.
She almost asks if Alice wants to stop before she's continuing, and despite how nervous Natasha feels she should be, being the first experience for Alice other than Jasper himself, she can't help being endeared instead. "No," she responds warmly, leaning back in to move her hand to Alice's cheek. "It's not silly. You're allowed to be nervous."
After a moment Natasha shrugs, her eyes falling between them. "I've done this more than once and I'm nervous too." When she looks up its with a sheepish but excited smile. "Because it matters this time. We can be nervous about it together?"
For just a moment, when Natasha leans back, Alice wonders if she should do the same, but instead she shifts to perch more firmly on Natasha's lap, knees on the bed beside her hips now, one hand resting lightly at her waist. It's still comfortable, it's still where she wants to be, and Alice visibly relaxes when Natasha comes back to her.
This time it's Alice who turns her head to press a kiss to Natasha's palm, eyes steady on her in a way that's different, softer than Jasper's intent attention. "We'll be nervous about it together," she agrees with a smile. "And then we won't be." She reaches up to take Natasha's face in both hands and leans in to kiss her again, still careful but more certain than before.
Alice still needs to be cautious—she can't risk losing herself entirely to this, no matter how good it feels, she needs to keep herself in check and in the moment, and it takes some concentration—but as it turns out, her nervousness extends only as long as it takes Natasha to start getting her out of her clothes, after which it's drowned out by enthusiasm on both sides. She stops thinking about twelve things at once and narrows it down to only two or three, and for a few breathless minutes, only one.
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moodshifter) wrote2017-02-16 01:26 pm
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"It would, at that," he says darkly. "And any research on that 'alternate species' that happened to be released, they wouldn't look too kindly on that either." He can hear Edward on the other end of the phone, and even Carlisle in the background, saying they'll wrap up their lives in Calgary and start back toward Forks as soon as they can.
"It's a capital crime," he says briskly, falling back into the reassurance of that military briefing they both find so comfortable. "To bring attention, to make a scene. We could argue until we ran out of air, and I'm sure Carlisle will, that I was held against my will and my escape was my only survival, but that won't change the letter of their law."
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Every decision that she's made in the past few weeks has been painfully reckless and Natasha knows it, but who can blame her? She's never made choices for herself before, perhaps she's getting a little high off of the simply ability to do so. Perhaps she doesn't consider her own mortality something to be coveted, or maybe Natasha has seen into a world where being just her will never truly be enough.
It's a world filled with gods and monsters, aliens and magic and it's all so far over her head that she feels as if she's drowning in it. Her choice to come here, it wasn't a choice to run. She's still going to make up for the bad of her past, but now she's going to do it on her terms, and why can't she have both? Why can't she have redemption and love? She doesn't deserve it, but since when has Natasha Romanoff let the world tell her exactly what she deserves.
"I'm useless like this." Her eyes move to Jasper suddenly as if she's made her mind, a toil of emotions twisting around within her until she finally settles on steel certainty, fortified with determination. "You'll have to change me before they get here." Simple. As if offering a forgotten umbrella in the rain.
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She's a tangle of feelings, but there's a blue streak of certainty in her running through it all, and it takes him a moment to find his tongue. "Natalia, you know that's not something we'd insist upon," he says, and he can hear the helpless bewildered note in his own voice. She's making this decision based on so little, and she's so firm with it, he isn't certain there isn't anything he could say to dissuade her.
That said, he isn't certain he ought to, or even that he'd want to. Edward had agonized for more than a year over turning Bella, nearly lost her thanks to his reluctance, but neither Jasper nor Alice have any qualms about Natasha's human life being over too soon. They know something of what she's been through, Jasper's seen what she's capable of just as a human.
Instead of continuing on that line, he falls silent and wraps an arm around her waist. "We'll have time to prepare you for it," he murmurs, watching Alice again as she's wrapping up her conversation, then looking back down at Natasha. "I can't change you myself. It's up to Alice whether she wants to risk that."
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She waits until Alice is off of the phone before she continues. "The things that you do, I'm not comfortable with them because I know them." She looks up at Jasper with a frown before glancing back at Alice. "I'm comfortable with them because I've seen worse. I've fought worse, I've fought things that aren't organic, things that are... horrifying. That could kill even you, after I've seen what they're capable of. I've seen what a real nightmare looks like, it doesn't have cold skin and super speed."
For only a moment Natasha's eyes close, the Chitauri monstrosities flashing behind her lids in hoards, Hulk chasing her through the tight confines of a helicarrier, a literal god trying to terrify her from behind a glass prison... they open again. "Just because I'm here and I want to-" she pauses, because for some reason saying it is harder than her demand for them to take her mortality away, "-I want to try, with you... with both of you, I still have a lot of red in my ledger. More than I thought, apparently." The last part comes out quietly, guilt twisting through her before she pushes it away. Not behind a wall, but away completely, because now isn't the time.
"I'm not going to stop trying to fix everything. There are people out there who need me and I'm not capable of solving all of the problems I should be able to solve the way that I am now. I won't live long enough." Another statement made as fact. "I want to be the person that I'm supposed to be, not the one that I'm made into. I can start here." She looks up at Jasper once more, a frown tugging at the corners of her mouth. "And I'll be damned if I sit back and let you fight the first battle I've been here for without me. So you need to change me." She looks back at Alice now, and she shrugs. "I don't do useless."
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"I saw us," she says softly, eyes roving Natasha's face, taking in the human flush on her cheeks, her lovely deep eyes, the rise and fall of breath, all her micro-movements that will be frozen when she's turned. "I saw you, Tash, I saw us standing between Jasper and the Volturi. We're going to fight together." She tucks Natasha's hair behind her ear with her other hand. "I've seen you changed. You're so beautiful. I can't wait to meet you. ...but I'm not sure I..." She swallows, just thinking of how difficult it would be to bite Natasha, and she leans into Jasper's hand when he sets it on her shoulder.
"The Volturi won't be here for weeks," she says after a few moments of silence. "Carlisle and the others will come back next week. We don't need to do anything now. We still have time."
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Her smile fades a little, and Natasha squeezes Alice's hand tightly in reassurance before she looks back up at Jasper. "YA ne dopushchu, chtoby s toboy chto-nibud' sluchilos', Dzhasper, obeshchayu. I ya ne dayu obeshchaniy, kotoryye ya ne mogu soblyudat'." She lets silence fall between them for a moment, her words settling, and she can feel the tension. The Volturi, whoever they are, are significant to both Jasper and Alice and their culture, and Natasha knows what it feels like to learn that you're being hunted. So she does the only thing she can think of. She tries to make it better.
"Enough of that then. We have time, we'll wait until your family gets here to make a solid plan." She reaches up once more to drag Jasper down so she can plant a soft kiss on his cheek, and then she turns to look at Alice, taking her face in both of Natasha's hands. "And you, little miss Prophet, you know I'm not going anywhere and we're going to handle this. So, right now, enough." She pulls Alice's head a little closer to plant a soft kiss on her forehead before she grabs her hand, and Natasha grabs Jasper's with the other before she drags them both to the stove.
"Now. Your human is freaking starving, and both of you have spent all day running off and hunting and I have to actually put out effort to make my meals. So you're both cooking me dinner." It's not a request, but at least she pairs it with a sweet smile and a flutter of lashes. "I'll teach you if you want."
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It's a good time to tell her about their previous encounters with the Volturi: Edward's frantic attempts at suicide-by-rule-breaking, Victoria's newborn army that had come after them—Alice speaks sadly of Bree Tanner, the little sister they'd barely known but had already accepted—and finally the almost-clash when Aro had brought dozens of his followers to Forks because of a willful misunderstanding. Only Alice sharing her violent death-filled vision of the future had dissuaded Aro from following through immediately on his attempt to slaughter the family and all of their allies, giving them enough time to prove, lawfully, that Renesmee would not be a threat. They'd been forced to follow their own laws and had retreated, but Alice had always known Aro hadn't forgotten about her, or about Edward.
In between the stories, they tell her about the family and how they'd all come together, Edward first and then Esme, Rose and then Emmett, Alice and Jasper attaching themselves to the family several years later, no one new until Edward had met Bella, and everything that had followed. It's a long conversation, lasting through dinner, washing up, putting away the other food they'd made, and by the end of it, the three of them are curled together on the couch with the fireplace blazing softly against the chill of the house.
"...so this has sort of happened to us before," Alice says with a little shrug from her place curled on Natasha's lap with her legs draped over Jasper's. "Although I hope it will be a little less dramatic this time."
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"I don't do dramatic," she promises with a small smile, one arm wrapped around Alice's middle as the other drapes across the back of the couch where her fingertips play at the hem of Jasper's sleeve. "The Volturi..." she sighs, rolling her eyes a little. "It's good to know that corrupt systems of power don't end with mortality, things would be far too boring." She looks between the two of them before her eyes move to the window, and Natasha wrestles with her own uncertainty before she finally gives a proper response.
"I've dealt with systems like that before. I've been part of them actually, on a more dramatic scale but still." She shakes her head. "Maybe if we're lucky this isn't going to end with violence. I've been a diplomat before, I've had extensive training in how to talk down a potentially hostile situation. I'm not saying that it'll help, but I'm hoping that there's a small chance it might. I was able to convince Tony Stark to be a team player and Hulk to come out of hiding, maybe I can convince a bunch of vampire royalty to set down their arms."
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"It's me they're after," she says after a few moments, glancing down with a sigh. Jasper's hand moves up to rest on her ankle, a gentle reassuring squeeze. "They're coming here because of Jasper, but that's just their excuse this time. Aro has wanted to get me to join him for years, ever since he first learned what I can do. The last time they came, it was under another excuse, it was really to try and kill everyone else so he could 'pardon' me and make me join them."
It's still chilling to think just how close they'd come, how close she'd come to losing everything, to losing Jasper, to never have this chance right now. Jasper's thumb moves along her skin and she can feel his influence, like a breath of cool air, soothing away the little hamster-wheel of panic that she hadn't even realized had begun running inside her. She reaches out to cup his cheek in a brief thank-you, then turns her head to look up at Natasha.
"I only saw a few of them. It doesn't look like they're coming to fight. But you'll need to be turned before they get here, they can't know about you."
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When Alice looks up at her Natasha smiles, warm and what she hopes to be reassuring. "I'll be turned. I'd rather not fight but I'm not going to back down if one is necessary, it's not really my style." She looks at Jasper once more, eyes lingering on his face. "We're going to want to talk to Carlisle about it as soon as he gets here though, the sooner I turn and adjust the better." Natasha feels a twist of discomfort in her stomach, but it's directed at herself and nothing else.
She looks back at Alice, her smile restrained and almost sad this time. "I don't really know how I'm going to handle that much power, I have control but..." she trials off, her stare going through the woman for a second before her eyes flicker back into focus and her smile forcefully returns. "I just think it would be better to give myself time to adjust." She's already lethal and it hasn't gotten her memories that she wants to keep. Natasha isn't certain that her new decision will make that much better, but she knows that it's necessary. That's what matters.
"I told you. No more of that." She shifts, leaning back into the couch more comfortably and dragging Alice with her. "I'm not afraid of a little conflict, we'll handle it. For now," She nudges Jasper's leg with the tip of her foot, "distractions. Music, cards - no cards." She corrects suddenly with narrowed eyes at Alice. "You probably cheat."
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"We'll want to talk to the wolves as well," Jasper says quietly. "We owe them the news that we're staying in the area after all, I'm sure there wasn't time to tell them we were leaving. I can take Natasha," he says to Alice as just the mention of the wolves stirs a little thread of revulsion in her, "I know they disturb you. I'll be fine. I'll speak to Seth."
Obediently he rises at the pointed nudge from his girlfriend, slipping out from beneath his wife's legs to stand and blur across to the stereo. "We both cheat," he says, flashing a smile at them as he picks a CD of fast-moving big band songs, it's time for them all to dance. "Easy enough to pick up on someone feeling confident or uncertain. Considered taking a vacation to Las Vegas occasionally, but we're already fairly well-off. Ma'am?" This to Alice as he bends properly at the waist with a hand out in invitation.
She accepts, she's naturally putting her hand in his almost before he'd extended the invitation, and he spins her into a quick and easy dance to Benny Goodman.
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She watches as Alice takes his hand and she grins, settling back into the couch as she watches the two of them move, and Natasha gives an impressed little applause as they begin to move in sync. She can't remember the last time she danced for the sake of dancing, when it wasn't at a gala or charity ball that she was forced to sell her own charm at. Beyond that she really can't remember the last time she did any swing dancing. It had to have been with Clint at a family event, but the necessity for it is much less in demand than, say, a proper waltz.
She waits, studying the way that they both move in order to gain a sense of how skilled they both are, and only then does Natasha feel comfortable removing her shoes and getting off the couch to approach them in the middle of their song. She gives Jasper a little tap on the shoulder to catch his attention, giving him a playful "don't be greedy" when he turns to look at her, and once he steps back Natasha takes Alice's hand only to pull her into a quick spin.
She's rusty to her own standards but she can still deliver, and she can still lead as she moves with Alice to the sound of drums and saxophone. As the song progresses so does her movement until she's stepping rapidly with the beat, and despite the fact that Alice is taller Natasha has no problem lifting her off of her feet when the dance calls for it. By the end of it she's laughing, genuinely laughing before she spins, red hair a curtain behind her, to look up at Jasper. "Not bad," she decides, tilting her head to the side a little as she looks back at Alice with a playful smile. "I might just keep you two."
She reaches up run a finger under Jasper's chin, other hand reaching out and grabbing Alice's suddenly to spin her into Natasha's side and hold her properly. "When did you want to go talk to the wolves?"
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There's so much he doesn't know about her. The idea makes him frown a little, but he's learned enough to know just asking outright wouldn't be very welcome. She might tell him, but she wouldn't enjoy it much. He shakes it off, setting those thoughts aside as Alice's delight at being lifted comes through like the ringing of a crystal bell, and he's grinning again by the time the song ends and they come back his way. "We can only hope," he says, reaching out to tuck red hair behind her ear, as Alice links her fingers with his and squeezes briefly.
"We should talk to them soon," he continues more briskly. "Not today, but tomorrow at the latest. We've never made the new treaty conditions official with the new alpha, and I think if the Volturi are venturing back into our little corner, they ought to know. They were useful last time, or would've been, had it come to that. They might be obliged to do the same this time."
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"Alright," she nods when he says that they should go tomorrow, and Natasha squeezes Alice's side playfully as she listens to him. It's just an affectionate touch, to let her know that Natasha's attention is still on her, and that she doesn't want to let go. Moving with Alice is almost too easy, but she's already getting used to that; the fact that these two have somehow found a way to wriggle past her without any explanation as to how. "We'll go tomorrow then. And for now."
Natasha presses a swift kiss to Alice's cheek before releasing her, and as the next song begins she doesn't hesitate to grab Jasper's hand to spin beneath his arm and pull him a little closer. This is good, she thinks; the more time she can spend around him the better, because the more he'll adjust the safer he'll feel. She won't be turned for at least a week, and Natasha has no intention of giving up on their work together just because of it.
Dancing is a good way to go about it. The more she moves the faster her heart beats, the stronger her scent is, and it still keeps him distracted enough to keep that scent in the background so he can get used to the gradual climb. By the end she has no problem pressing against him, letting him take the lead without issue, and once the song finishes she leans up to press a swift kiss against his cheek before letting go of him and putting her hands up in surrender.
"Alright, that's enough. Your human still has a limit and she hasn't done this in a long, long time." She laughs as she says it, her eyes moving to the window to check the time. "I'm going to get in the shower and get all of this make up off of me." She turns to the stairs when she says it, glancing back at them with narrow eyes. "No peeking." She pauses, and when she looks at Alice she gives her a playful little wink. "Or at least, don't get caught."
It doesn't take her long to shower and clean herself up, and once she comes back downstairs she moves as if to walk into the living room with them before she suddenly stops. For a moment Natasha simply stands there, as if arguing with herself, but after coming to a firm decision she turns on her heel and moves into the garage instead, returning with the duffel bag that she's been living out of and all of her things.
"I'm going to -" she pauses, looking at the two of them, and she's a little nervous as her voice goes sheepish. "I can put all my things away right? Should I just... put them in your room for now?"
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As Natasha lets her go and draws Jasper in, Alice focuses past them for a moment, just a quick peek into the near future, and suddenly she's very glad she isn't able to blush. It's only a quick blip of emotion and she thinks Natasha and Jasper are too focused on each other to notice her little gasp, which she quickly covers with a bright smile, and applause when they manage a tricky little maneuver without any trouble. It's good to see them together, and a relief to see how well Jasper is doing with her, even if she won't be human for much longer.
"Take your time," she says cheerfully, winking back as she steps into Jasper's waiting arms and lets herself be swept into the next song. Her heart is in her throat when she starts whispering to him, telling him the vision she'd had when he'd been dancing with Natasha—she'd been right, he hadn't noticed the little shiver of nervousness before, but he must be noticing it now.
"...and it's, I don't know if it's going to be tonight, but it's...it will happen soon," she finishes, looking up at him anxiously, but to her relief, he just dips her deep with a faint smile. He'll need to step out, she's fairly sure, if Alice and Natasha are really going to, to do that, just being able to feel it might be too much, but they don't keep secrets. She won't keep this a secret.
By the time Natasha comes back, the music has finished and Jasper has his arms around Alice's waist at the window. She feels him give her a quick squeeze, probably in answer to the little spike of nervousness again, but she doesn't hesitate to slip away and join Natasha near the door to the garage. "Of course, if you'd like. Come on, I'll show you." It already feels like an instinct to reach for Natasha's hand as she starts for the stairs.
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She follows Alice into her and Jasper's room, and Natasha looks over her shoulder to notice that Jasper himself hasn't come with them. She's oddly comfortable with that, finding peace in being with Alice alone, and she can't help but smile at the woman as she starts to help her unpack.
When was the last time she did this? Natasha settled in the cabin weeks ago but it was never something that she thought would last, there was always preparation to gather things again and throw them all in a bag. Everything close together and in plain sight, keep a list so you don't forget, it's a system by now and one that Natasha has gotten quite good at.
Yet now she's not trying to find the most convenient place for her things but the most accurate place. She takes the time to put her jewelry in Alice's jewelry box, sets her books up on the shelf in alphabetical order instead of shoving them with their faces out so everything can be accounted for. It's only one duffel bag worth of stuff, and yet for the first time Natasha feels as if she's moving in somewhere. It's an almost unsettling sensation, and yet liberating at the same time.
"I'll take care of those," she says aloud when they reach the bottom of the bag where way too many weapons reside. There are several guns, a cross bow, her Widow's Bite's and knives with holsters that look like they're meant to be strapped to various places. Natasha organizes them all and puts them in the closet, keeping them orderly with their corresponding ammo. She brought more weapons than clothes, probably because she uses them more. Or, at least, she did.
After she puts away her last weapon Natasha pauses, an she looks at Alice over her shoulder. "I don't think I've ever done this before," she admits finally, her voice small as she slowly moves to her feet and looks around at the progress. The room barely looks different, but to Natasha, it does. Her gaze settles on Alice. "Move in somewhere. Not... officially, anyway, I've always been ready to move again. It's never been like this."
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As Natasha looks over her shoulder, Alice watches her glance around the room, marking all the places where she's put her things, the bits and pieces of her life. She doesn't need Jasper's ability to see how much this means, how strange it is. She slips across the rug to take Natasha's hands, and spins herself inside them, tucking herself up against Natasha's side the way she does with Jasper. It's different with someone nearly her size, they're almost nose to nose when they're barefoot. "You're here now," she says softly. Natasha's eyes are green, she thinks. She's going to remember it. "You never have to do that again."
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Instead Natasha stares at her, searching her face for a moment before she swallows hard, and that's when it really hits her. They're staying here, which means that Natasha is staying here. So very abruptly, her journey is over, and she hasn't expected it. The fridge is filled with food for her, her things are in the closet and her makeup is now set up in the bathroom after she had to do it earlier that day. She doesn't have to do this again.
It's foreign. Surreal.
"I... don't really understand that." She admits quietly, eyes still searching Alice's face before they finally flutter down to her lips, still slightly more pink than the rest of her. Natasha moves her in her arms, bringing her more directly forward, and she stares at the woman with a strange sort of curiosity and comfort. "I like it, though." She sounds breathless, and it's because she is, although she reminds herself that she has no reason to be. "I don't understand it but I like it." It could be her recent search for physical connection, or maybe it just feels like the right thing to do when Natasha leans in, and instead of kissing Alice on the cheek she lets her lips brush against Alice's just barely; just enough for it to not be an accident.
"I've never wanted to be anywhere. It's nice."
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The kiss isn't a surprise, but it is. It's a surprise how delicate it is, an almost-brush of warm lips against hers. It's a surprise, a good one, that Natasha is treating her as if she's breakable, just like Jasper does. Again, Alice marvels a little at how much they have in common, her husband and her girlfriend, and then she leans in to kiss back, still carefully but with a little more purpose. Her hand comes up to rest against Natasha's cheek, but her attention is focused completely on the entirely new sensation of warm, human lips against hers. She can feel Natasha's pulse everywhere they're touching, that odd little echo from different points, and it's still a surprise to her that it doesn't make her hungry, the feel and the scent of her so close, it doesn't burn in her throat or send venom running.
She's never kissed anyone but Jasper before. She can't decide if she wants to admit that or not, but she doesn't need to right now, she doesn't need to do anything but this. It's just them here, careful and slow.
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She's quickly become addicting. Natasha finds herself wrapping her arms around Alice's waist and dragging her close, the kiss deepening once Alice willingly returns it, and Natasha can't help but let one hand trail up to thread through the short hair on the back of Alice's head. She's cold but she's sweet, rough in a way where she doesn't seem breakable and it's probably wrong, the way that Natasha is attracted to that. She's attracted to knowing that she can't hurt her, and even more so attracted to knowing that she, for some reason, trusts Alice to return that.
When Natasha pulls away she's slightly flushed, eyes still closed, and when they open to see Alice's face she can't stop herself from smiling with a nervous but light laugh. She pulls away just enough to take Alice's hands and Natasha doesn't know what the hell she's doing, but she knows that it feels like the right thing to do. She sits on the edge of the bed, pulling Alice forward to straddle her lap, and once she has her close again Natasha threads her fingers back into the woman's hair to pull her down into a deeper kiss, filled with affection. Her other hand finds the small of Alice's back to keep her steady although she's sure that she doesn't need it, and Natasha's fingers move slowly against the fabric of Alice's shirt, feeling the texture of her spine beneath it.
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She's never been nervous of hurting her, she realizes as Natasha draws her forward onto the bed. She's nervous of her own inexperience. She's over a hundred, and in all that time, she's only ever been with Jasper. It seems silly to mention it, but it's going to be obvious, isn't it? Especially obvious with how certain Natasha's hands are on her, the way she pulls her close so easily, the way she makes Alice want more.
Alice's hands move over Natasha like fluttering birds, perched for a moment on her shoulders, then one slipping around her waist and her fingers just barely skimming her hair as she tips her head into the kiss, all tentative, uncertain touches. Natasha must know, she must be able to tell, and Alice hopes Jasper is long gone now, her nervousness is spiking.
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"Hey." She gives a soft laugh that translates into a breathless huff, her arms wrapping around Alice's waist once more to keep her steady. "You alright? We can keep this slow..." One hand moves to brush Alice's hair from her eyes, and Natasha leans in to instead trail soft kisses down the gentle slope of her jaw and neck. When she speaks, soft lips brush against Alice's skin with her words.
"I'm just glad that I'm here with you, we don't have to get heavy handed if you're not ready for that."
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It's easier for her hands to find purchase now, one wrapped around Natasha's shoulders and the other resting lightly on her collarbone as Alice tucks herself close. "I don't remember my human life," she continues softly, "none of it, but I, I've pieced together some things and I don't think there would have been anyone. And after I was changed, I knew I was waiting for him, so there was no reason for anyone."
Now that it's been said, she's able to raise her head and scan Natasha's face, still a little anxious as to what she might find there. "I want this. I do. I'm just..." And she giggles, and presses a hand over her face as her fingers curl around the back of Natasha's neck. "I'm nervous, even though I know what's going to happen, isn't that silly?"
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She almost asks if Alice wants to stop before she's continuing, and despite how nervous Natasha feels she should be, being the first experience for Alice other than Jasper himself, she can't help being endeared instead. "No," she responds warmly, leaning back in to move her hand to Alice's cheek. "It's not silly. You're allowed to be nervous."
After a moment Natasha shrugs, her eyes falling between them. "I've done this more than once and I'm nervous too." When she looks up its with a sheepish but excited smile. "Because it matters this time. We can be nervous about it together?"
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This time it's Alice who turns her head to press a kiss to Natasha's palm, eyes steady on her in a way that's different, softer than Jasper's intent attention. "We'll be nervous about it together," she agrees with a smile. "And then we won't be." She reaches up to take Natasha's face in both hands and leans in to kiss her again, still careful but more certain than before.
Alice still needs to be cautious—she can't risk losing herself entirely to this, no matter how good it feels, she needs to keep herself in check and in the moment, and it takes some concentration—but as it turns out, her nervousness extends only as long as it takes Natasha to start getting her out of her clothes, after which it's drowned out by enthusiasm on both sides. She stops thinking about twelve things at once and narrows it down to only two or three, and for a few breathless minutes, only one.
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