moodshifter | Alice Cullen | Natasha Romanova

He knows it's important. It's vital, if they're to have any future at all, to decide how to bring that about. But all of this, everything they've discussed, it all feels as though it's missing something, and it is, it's missing Alice. Maybe it's the familiarity of the house and the area, maybe it's growing closer to Natasha, but Alice's absence aches now inside him in a way it hadn't done at the cabin. He misses her, and he only thinks he's doing the right thing, he doesn't know. She'd always been good at being the one who knew.

"I understand," he says with a nod, half-turning his head to watch her out of the corner of his eye, silhouetted in the doorway. "It won't be dismissed or forgotten. Spokoynoi nochi, Natalia."

He'll spend the night looking through the house, seeing if he can find any clues to where they may have gone next, if Carlisle had wanted to return to an old haunt again or if they'd blazed a new path. In the morning, he'll hunt again. Then they'll plan their next move.

By the time Natasha wakes up the next morning, Jasper is already preparing to go out to hunt. She manages to find a washing machine, and she cleans the clothes that she brought with her just to have something to wear after eating a slice of pizza cold out of the box. He's gone, and because of that Natasha is hyper aware of the unfamiliar space around her. She spends the morning out on the balcony, staring out at the trees and listening to the silence in the air until it's suddenly gone, ripped into by the sound of an approaching engine.

She can't see anything yet and that doesn't matter. Natasha is immediately back inside, moving through the house to get into the garage, and she pops open the trunk of their car to grab her glock and a knife she can hide up the sleeve of her jacket. She closes it halfway before pausing, and Natasha goes back a second time to grab the Widow's Bite that Stark had perfected for her. She doesn't know if the approaching car is from HYDRA or from Jasper's past, but she knows two things for certain; she can shoot a HYDRA agent, and if vampires still have functioning muscles and tendons, she can probably electrocute them long enough to get some distance. However, that would require her to catch them unaware, and because of that Natasha hovers beside the front door away from the windows, listening intently.

Car stops. Door opens, door closes. Natasha stands there, holding her gun close, and she flicks off the safety as she risks glancing through the edge of the window to catch a glimpse of whoever the unexpected visitor is. She recognizes her immediately as she approaches the front door, probably because she knows that the garage is full.

It's Alice.

Natasha would be lying if she said that she hadn't been curious as to what the woman looked like, and she didn't have to wonder long with the amount of pictures that were hanging on the walls. She gives a sigh, falling back into position against the wall, but this time she closes her eyes and winces at the ceiling before turning the safety back on and slipping her gun into the back of her jeans. Of course it's Alice, with the way Jasper speaks of her Natasha's surprised she hadn't expected the second vampire to come and find them herself, and she realizes in that moment that she's not ready. She's not ready for this, meeting the woman who's been married to the man that Natasha is far too attached to; the one who apparently believes Natasha to be a future love, which sounds absurdly juvenile when she thinks it.

It isn't like she can avoid her, and Natasha doesn't run away from confrontation. Instead she opens the front door, leaning in the doorway to watch Alice climb up the stairs, and when she's close enough to see clearly the redhead gives a smile that she truly means to be genuine, but doesn't quite meet her eyes. "He's going to be thrilled when he gets back."

The only reason she'd been able to let him go had been because she'd known she'd get him back. It had still been the hardest thing she'd ever done, made much harder almost immediately when she'd had a vision of his escape, his kill, the knowledge that he'd blame himself and his weakness for it. She'd accepted when Edward had offered to let her stay with them, it had always been a little easier having him around to see her visions almost at the same time she saw them herself. She never needed to explain herself to Edward. He was restful. And having Bella and Renesmee and Jacob around was enough of a distraction that she didn't sink into her thoughts too often.

She hadn't been intending to keep an eye on him, on them, but their decision had been so certain, the force of her vision had made her stop dead in the middle of the kitchen and lose her grip on the stack of books she'd been carrying: —the balcony outside the living room, Jasper standing stock-still but at ease, comfortable, Natasha standing impossibly close for a human but still perceptibly alive, touching his face, two bright smiles—

"It's working," she'd whispered, and Edward hadn't needed an explanation, just tossed her the keys to her car as he crossed to clean up the mess she'd left behind.

Driving makes her impatient. She's moving so slowly, she could run and be there so much faster, but she knows she shouldn't rush this. This is important. She wants to arrive when she knows Jasper will be gone. She wants to meet Natasha herself, before she's distracted by a reunion with her mate.

As she pulls up to the house and parks in the driveway, she can hear the faintest sound of a human heartbeat, almost faint enough to be her imagination if she didn't know for certain that Natasha was there. She's nervous, she thinks as she waits a moment behind the wheel before climbing out, she's nervous in just the same way she'd been when she'd gone to that Philadelphia diner to wait for Jasper to come inside. Just because she knows something will happen doesn't mean she's always confident about it. What if Natasha has already decided she doesn't want this? What if she doesn't like them?

But when the door opens and she catches sight of the woman with the red hair in person for the first time, Alice can't help the wide, delighted smile, and it takes effort not to rush up the steps and pull her into a hug. She won't like that, Alice reminds herself as she hops up the last few steps and comes to a halt only a few feet away, clearly wanting to close the distance, and compromises by reaching out to take Natasha's hand in hers. "I know," she says, her voice nearly bubbling over with happiness. "You came. I didn't know if you would."

"You know a lot, from what I hear." Natasha holds her smile as she shakes Alice's hand, and she suddenly feels so remarkably out of place. Jasper isn't like her, he has a life and a family that worries about him, a wife who's willing to follow the visions in her head to hunt him down and meet him as soon as he's close enough to do so. Simply standing there across from the petite woman and her warm smile is enough to make Natasha doubt every decision she's made in the past two weeks, because really, what the hell is she doing here? There are more than enough holes in her life for Jasper to fill, but she has nothing to offer him in return. Everything he needs, he has right in the woman standing before her, and Alice has just as much as he does. Natasha is nothing more than icing, something enjoyable but not necessary.

"My schedule has suddenly opened up, it's not like I had a lot of other things to concentrate on." She lets her hand fall away, and despite how nervous and uncertain she is, Natasha refuses to let any of it show on the surface. Instead she's collected, her walls up even though Jasper isn't here to feel her emotions, because they were never there to keep him out. They exist to keep everyone out.

Natasha moves aside to let Alice in, not wanting to get in the way considering it's much more hers than Natasha's. "Jasper told me that you had a vision of me coming with him and I didn't really see why not. I would still be in the cabin if I didn't." She pauses for a moment, watching the other woman intensely as if trying to pick up on something that she can't see upon first glance. "He told me the truth last night, about what you saw. Would have been nice if he shared with the class before we drove halfway across the country but like I said... I don't have much to lose. You saw us here? Is that how you found us?" Because if they were tracked, then Natasha is a lot rustier than she thought she was.

"I saw you last night, more than a week ago, it must have been when you decided to come here," Alice says serenely as she steps inside and looks around with a nostalgic smile. They've lived in a lot of places, but so much had happened in Forks. For immortals, it's rare to find so much change in only one place, in such a short time.

She spins in place, her hands clasped tightly in front of her, to get a better look at the woman she's only seen in her mind's eye. Beautiful, of course she is, Alice had already known that, and now she knows why she'd gotten the impressions of angry and sharp. Jasper isn't here to know what she's feeling, but Alice thinks she must be feeling about as nervous as she is, for very different reasons. Not a bit of it shows, though, and it's almost intimidating in a way.

"I saw how careful he was with you," she says more softly now. "I'm sorry he didn't tell you everything I saw, he should have, he knows better, but I'm glad, I'm so glad you're here." And she holds out a hand again, fingers spread, watching to see if this decision, whatever it is, will prompt her to see further out. Things are shifting very rapidly now, it's difficult to get a clear vision of anything, she needs someone to make a decision.

She's much more expressive than Jasper is, all of her thoughts and emotions closer to the surface for Natasha to pick up on. The mention of the previous night has Natasha's cheeks barely flushing, and she looks at the woman oddly with a tilted head. It's strange to hear her say something like that so openly, how she had seen Natasha touching her husband's face with no qualms, and the mortal woman can't help but marvel for a moment at just how much weight they both put into the visions that Alice has. It's as if they take it as law, where unless something drastic changes then the future is certain. "He did well," she commends with a small smile, that awkward air still hanging between them. Alice doesn't seem to struggle with being so close to her, and Natasha won't say aloud how relieving that is. She doesn't know if she would be able to be kept at arms distance by everyone she meets this point forward.

"And don't worry, he knows how upset I was that he kept it from me." She raises an eyebrow when she sees the way that Alice moves her hand, and it takes her a moment to realize that this must be what she looks like when she's searching for something; not physically, but within her mind, in the future. There's something about it that tugs on Natasha's heart, and before she can doubt herself she reaches out to gently take Alice's wrist, prepared this time for abnormally cold skin. "Alice." She looks at her with the shadow of a smile to get her attention. "The future isn't certain, if you keep checking in for answers based on what's happening in the now, you're not appreciating the now enough in the first place. Relax."

She lets go of her wrist, head tilting to the side to let her wavy hair fall over one shoulder. "You don't need to try and look in the future to figure out what's going to happen. Jasper is going to get home and he's going to be thrilled that you're here. We're going to go see the rest of your family, and we're going to take it from there." Her smile widens a little into something more genuine. "And if I don't want to stay, I'm not going to stay. But right now... I'm here. I'm coming with you. That's our future and... that's good enough for me right now, how about you? Why ruin the adventure of it all?"

"Oh, that's not..." Not how it works, she's going to explain, clearly Jasper hasn't done a very good job of it, but she's distracted both by Natasha's words and by the sudden sweet warmth of her hand, which disappears much more quickly than Alice wants it to. Vampires don't blush, but she might be, if she could.

"The adventure of it all," she repeats thoughtfully, and her smile grows before she just can't resist anymore and she has to reach out and pull Natasha into a joyful hug. "That's exactly what I think," she continues as she releases her and takes her hand, lacing their fingers together, because all this polite-stranger nonsense needs to stop.

She tugs gently and leads the way to the low cushioned reading area tucked away behind the fireplace. Jasper will be back within an hour, she thinks, and they have a lot of ground to make up. "He's had you to himself for weeks, it's definitely my turn. But at least you didn't keep me waiting as long as he did," she says as she perches on the couch, legs tucked up underneath her.

She's listening carefully as Alice starts to explain something but then it's gone, and just like that she's being embraced by a stranger who's smaller than her yet hugs like she could easily crush Natasha if she really wanted to. "Oh - okay," the surprised utterance escapes her once she's wrapped up but Natasha does her best to be personable, hugging Alice back with a gentle pat on her back before she's released. She's practically the polar opposite of Jasper, it actually catches Natasha off guard how open and welcoming she is, and once her hand is taken she allows herself to be led over to the fireplace.

It's almost infuriating, how quickly Natasha likes her. The way that she moves, the way that she tucks her legs beneath her when she sits on the couch and looks so excited just to be around Nat, is quite simply adorable and Natasha can't stop herself from grinning as she sits beside Alice. She finally understands what Jasper meant, because he was right. Alice is much better at this, better than both of them apparently.

"Well I'm here now and I'm all yours," she replies with a pretty smile. It's easier to slip into that side of herself around Alice, Jasper always seem so unsure of himself and although Natasha would love to knock him off his game she's honestly not sure if he could handle it. She cares about him, though, and no matter where this road leads, Alice is his wife. She's important to Jasper in the way Pepper is important to Tony, and that makes her important to Natasha. Flirting is just an added bonus.

"So. You had a vision that Jasper was going to bring me home to you." She gives a playful wrinkle of her nose. "I've been told by a lot of people that I'm destined to spend my future with them, this one is definitely the most creative."

Alice laughs, clear and open like a bell, and takes both of Natasha's hands and twines their fingers together. It's obvious she's very practiced at touching humans, there's no hesitation about pressure, it's never too much or too little. If not for her skin temperature, still chilly from the outside air, she'd seem almost normal. But there's always something a little bit other about Alice, something the students at Forks High had noticed right away and it had made them keep their distance. While Jasper can devote his whole undivided attention rather intensely at someone, Alice seems to always be distantly listening for something.

"Let me tell you what I saw now," she says in the gently reassuring voice she uses for people who aren't accustomed yet to her visions. "My visions aren't very extensive, they're more like snapshots or little time-lapse videos of the future. I see images, impressions. And as soon as Jasper made the decision to stay behind, I had a vision of you, with a tiny crossbow, shooting a squirrel." She glances to the side, staring into space as she always does when she's either getting a vision or relating one she's had. "Emptying its blood into a coffee mug. A pile of trees, big birch trees, sitting near a cabin, and then a pile of firewood taller than the cabin roof. You and Jasper sitting by the fire that he'd built for you."

She blinks and looks back at Natasha and smiles, and maybe it seems frightening that it's so immediate, but there is a lot of affection in that smile. "And I saw us. You and me, not here, but in Calgary, where Carlisle took us." A giggle. "You have me tucked inside your jacket. You know that isn't going to do anything, it will just make you cold, but it's very sweet."

In any other situation Natasha would pull away, because Alice grabbing her hands so boldly and twining their fingers together should set off several red flags. There's something about her though, perhaps the way that she's so starkly genuine upon first meeting, that calms Natasha enough to lull her into a sense of security enough where she can allow it and, somehow, enjoy the contact. Maybe it's because she's gone so long without it... it's not until now that Natasha realizes, touching Jasper's face was the first physical contact she's had since her mission with Steve.

"I have you tucked inside of my jacket," she repeats aloud with a hint of tease, "seems a little counter productive, don't you think? But yes, the coffee mug thing, you're... right about that." She looks almost sheepish. "I just thought that it would help him a little, considering how much he was struggling to be around me." That's a strange little detail that Alice couldn't possibly know unless she really did have visions of the future, but Natasha is finding that easier to accept than expected. Once your best friend is mind controlled by an alien god with a staff that closes space portals, psychics don't seem to be much of a stretch anymore.

"So you really believe it?" She lifts her hands a little, still holding Alice's in her own, and Natasha can't help but run her thumb across the back of them to feel how smooth her skin is. "Your vision? Are you sure it wasn't a different angry redhead?" She gives a slight smile, crooked and playful. "One with a better temperament? This - I don't do this," she gives Alice's hands a little squeeze to clarify although, she supposes, apparently she does, "transparency and trust aren't really my thing."

"That's what I thought! But, well, I wouldn't object if you felt like tucking me into your jacket," Alice teases back, and her smile is fond when she thinks about Jasper, and how difficult it is for him to be around humans sometimes, and how well he's done already, being around Natasha. It's probably going to be difficult to explain just how significant that is, especially to someone who shies away from genuine connections when they're first offered.

That fond smile is still in place when she looks back at Natasha and shakes her head. "I know how it sounds to someone who doesn't know me, and I know it's difficult to just accept without any proof, but I know who I saw, Natasha." Alice's eyes drop to watch the movement of Natasha's thumb against her hand. It's been years since she's held hands with any human, and that had been Bella, it hadn't been like this. She hadn't been so interested in paying attention to the subtle shift of muscle and tendon, the easy flow of blood beneath skin. It's enticing, and not in a way that feels dangerous at all.

"I was nervous to come here," she admits, glancing up again, her smile faltering a bit. "I didn't know if I should interrupt. But I thought...well, I couldn't see anything past last night, and I thought if I didn't come now, and if you'd decided to leave, I might never have met you. I didn't want to lose you before I'd even met you. That wouldn't be fair to either of us."

The way that Alice looks at her is different than the way that Jasper does; there's less hesitation, less fear of oneself and what they might end up doing. Her reply can almost be construed as flirtatious - no, it's definitely flirtatious - and Natasha can't help the amused laugh that bubbles up out of her, if only because it's so unexpected. "A lot of people wouldn't object if I felt like tucking them into my jacket," she points out, but after a coy smile she can't help but tack on, "but I think you might actually fit. If I ever feel like tucking someone into my jacket, I'll make sure you're the first person I go to."

And then Alice continues, and for a moment Natasha looks confused. She searches the new woman's face as if looking for something, and she is. There's no sign of falsehood, no tells that lead Natasha to believe that Alice is being anything but completely genuine, and that's... that can't be right. "I thought you came here to see Jasper," she confesses, her confusion blatant on her face. "You came here to see me? ...Because you wanted to meet me?" Just in case Natasha changed her mind. Alice drove from the safety of her new home to risk returning to the site of a raid simply to see Natasha before she disappeared.

People don't object when Natasha disappears. They rejoice in it.

She swallows hard, her mouth having gone dry, and Natasha's lips part hesitantly as if she wants to say something before words fail her and she simply looks down at their hands once more. "...I told him that I'd stay," she admits after a long silence, barely glancing back up to look at Alice through her lashes. "I was willing to meet you, and everyone else. ...Mostly you."

"Well, I did come here to see Jasper," Alice admits. "It's been...hard...without him." It's a sizable understatement. Being without Jasper had made her regret being unable to cry herself to sleep, because just crying hadn't done a thing but upset everyone else. She'd known he would survive and that he would come back to them, but that hadn't stopped her from knowing what he was going through to get there.

Some of that might be visible on her very readable face before she pushes it all away and summons another smile for Natasha. "But I came here when I knew he'd be gone so I could see you. You don't mind, do you? Patience was never my strongest suit, and I just...I wanted to know. I wanted to know you. Are you really going to stay?"

The way that the joy in Alice's face slowly seeps away just tells Natasha how much she wears her emotions on her sleeve; she doesn't even try to hide them, and Natasha can't help but find that somewhat endearing. She watches her closely as she goes through phases, and after a few moments Natasha can't help but give a sad smile. "You love him very dearly." It's more of an observation than a statement, and Natasha looks down once more. A part of her wishes that Alice wasn't so likable. Something in Natasha was hoping that she would be insufferable, because then maybe it would be easier to accept that she's slowly growing feelings for Alice's husband, which feels... wrong. Alice being here to reassure her with outward efforts to be involved in Natasha's life simply seems too good to be true. Things like this don't happen.

And yet here they are. Alice's smile returns, a strange sort of warmth that doesn't seem to match the feel of her skin coming with it, and Natasha returns it with her own. "Yes, I'm really going to stay." She shifts, letting go of one hand but still holding onto the other for reasons that even Natasha doesn't really understand, and she leans back against the couch with her free arm draped over it.

"I don't have anywhere else to go," she admits. "After what happened in DC, I can't really show my face anywhere. I have to wait for the heat to subside before I do that, I don't have a mission to get to..." her eyes divert again, and her smile fades. "I don't even have an agency to answer to." She looks back at Alice just as quickly.

"I don't have a permanent place, I've got an apartment in DC, one in New York, but all of them are - were owned by Shield and they were all practically empty anyway. So when Jasper finally told me everything... I have nothing to lose, right? So yes, I'm going to stay. Besides." Natasha gives a quiet, huffed laugh. "Since he can tolerate being around me, I'm not too worried about how the rest of your family is going to react."

Alice listens, and she aches for the woman with the red hair from her visions. She knows what it's like not to belong anywhere, and as Natasha speaks, she wraps both hands around the warm fingers she's been allowed to keep hold of. She wants to say that Natasha has a permanent place now, she's seen how seamlessly she'll become a part of their family, but she hasn't shared that with anyone yet, not even Carlisle, not even Edward. She hasn't shared how pretty Natasha will look with newborn-red eyes. It's not time for any of that yet.

"The rest of the family will love you," she says instead, serene in her certainty again. "You and Emmett will get along very well. That's not something I've seen," she adds with a playful giggle, "that's just something I'm pretty sure about."

She's going to add more, tell Natasha a little about the other members of the family that she'll meet whenever they leave for Calgary, but then she catches a flash of the immediate future and something about her lightens. Her face brightens as she turns toward the window she knows Jasper will enter through. He's coming back. He'll be there soon. She'll have him back soon. It's so tempting to go running to him, but no, she tells herself, it's more important that he see them together. So he knows everything is the way it should be.

"I wouldn't be so sure." She tries to sell it as a joke but it falls flat, her own uncertainty getting in the way. Any family 'loving' her seems like a far stretch, even Clint's family welcomes her when she visits but it's because it's a visit. Nothing is permanent there, that's not her place, and everything with Alice and Jasper's life already seems so established. Natasha can't possibly envision a way for her to fit into something like that.

She's derailed by the way Alice suddenly sits up at attention, her eyes moving to the window, and Natasha doesn't have to be told that she must sense Jasper is coming back. She looks at the window as well, and although she can't see anything she's already learned that doubting Alice is probably a bad idea. "He's coming?" She asks for confirmation, but before Alice can give it Natasha grins and gives her hand a little tug. "Come on, let's give him something to come back to."

There's no hesitance in the way that she pulls Alice into her, another embrace but this time one that she plans on keeping. She pulls Alice's back into her chest, wrapping her arms around the woman's tiny frame, and by the time Jasper enters the room Natasha is curled up with his wife on the couch.

"Bad news," she begins with a wince, "turns out I'm stealing her from you. We can do a trade off, you get sixty years, I get sixty years... alternating weekends...' She gives him a warm smile, and her first instinct is to look him over to make sure that he's unharmed. He is, and her arms loosen to release Alice; she knows that they'll want to reunite, and Natasha has every intention on disappearing upstairs while they do. She tells herself it's for privacy, but a part of her isn't sure she'll be able to watch it.

As it turns out, precognitive vampires are not immune to little eeps of surprise when they're distracted and then suddenly tugged into someone's lap. Natasha is warm everywhere, soft everywhere, and it's so easy to curl into her after a moment's shock. Alice has grown very good at reading people she sees in her visions, and the woman she'd seen had been...not standoffish, but calculating, careful not to give out affection without knowing exactly what it would cost and how it would benefit. This just seems...playful. Fun.

When Jasper comes through the window, worried and hopeful at once, he's halfway across the room in a heartbeat before he stops dead at the sight on the couch, and the poleaxed look on his face makes Alice start laughing. Natasha's mock-sympathetic comments don't help that at all, but they do make Jasper look even more bewildered, which Alice can certainly appreciate. She turns a pout on Natasha, says, "That doesn't seem at all fair, I want both at once," leans forward to press chilly lips to Natasha's cheek, and slips out of her loosened arms.

Nothing else can distract her right now from getting to Jasper, she blurs across the floor and when they're both visible again, it's not in some passionate embrace. Jasper has his hands settled on her waist, her hands are both on his face, and they're staring into each other's eyes as if that's how they gain sustenance, like that's the way they survive. He doesn't need to tell her he's all right. She'd known that he would consider bolting and that she would get him back, but it doesn't make up for how worried she'd been, and she lets that worry and fear finally pour out of her for him to pick up.

He does, in the way his hands slide around to the small of her back and lace there, keeping her comfortably inside the circle of his arms, and as planned, the well of concern dries up, replaced by relief, love, her own special flavor of joy that Jasper tries his best to inspire in her as often as possible. In this moment, nothing else exists.

But because it's been so long, because she'd been certain she'd get him back, because they have a future to get to, the intense and focused reunion lasts only a few seconds before Alice leans up to peck his lips. "At least you didn't keep me waiting so long this time," she murmurs and turns in his arms to face Natasha again. "We're in Calgary," she adds to him over her shoulder. "But we won't get back to the others for a couple weeks at least. We can stay here and take our time," and this last is to Natasha, with a bright, playful smile. It should be just the three of them at first, she's decided, so they can find a balance before they go rushing off to introduce Natasha to everyone else. That will be a tense day, but ultimately a success.

She knows he's coming, and Natasha prepares for it. by the time Jasper has entered her walls are already up, solid and precise, and she's glad that she did it when she sees the way that Alice moves to him. He touches her without hesitation, staring down at her as if she's the only thing in his world, and for a moment Natasha knows that she no longer exists to either of them.

She diverts her eyes, simply looking away to watch the trees sway peacefully out the window, and instead of shielding her feelings Natasha uses a different tactic to shut them down all together, temporarily dissociating from the room around her. It's easier that way, she thinks, instead of having to hide the unjustified hurt she knows she'll feel if she keeps watching.

It isn't until Alice speaks again, obviously addressing Natasha, that she looks back, and the smile that she gives is an easy performance as she slowly transitions herself back into the room, walls still firmly in place. "I don't know if that's a good idea," she begins slowly, looking between the two of them where Alice stands wrapped in Jasper's arms. A couple of weeks like this? With this feeling? "Wouldn't your family miss you? Or worry?"

The moment, the absolute moment Alice's eyes had left his, Jasper's head had turned toward Natasha. He can feel how careful she's being about what she's feeling, and while on the surface it all seems as it should be, he knows he's only picking up what she wants him to. There had been a distressing sensation of her floating away for a few moments, which had only really registered with him once it had come to an end, and while his hands are still settled comfortably around Alice's waist, all his sharp attention is on Natasha now.

"I'll call Carlisle and let him know," Alice says immediately and leans up to peck Jasper's cheek before slipping out of his arms and almost dancing toward the balcony. Jasper watches her go with a little half smile and ambles toward the couch.

"You seem locked up tight," he says quietly, but he doesn't hesitate as he takes a seat a few feet away. His Alice is back. He's never doubted how much of a difference she makes to him, to his mind, to the strength of his heart.

Natasha's eyes follow Alice as she practically bounces toward the balcony, and she can feel Jasper approaching before she looks back at him. He sits on the other end of the couch and she doesn't move, leaning against the arm with her legs bent on the cushion, and she manages to give him a sort of half-smile. "Me? No..." a little joke, hopefully one that will make him simply drop the fact that she's guarding herself, but Jasper isn't Clint or Steve. He doesn't simply drop something because she sends him a signal to. He isn't afraid of her.

She sighs, looking back toward the balcony that Alice had run off to before her eyes finally fall back on him. "I'm glad that you two are back together in the same place, I can see how much she means to you." She gives a wary smile, choosing her words carefully. "I don't think I've ever seen you like that." She hasn't, and the silly petty side of her doesn't want to admit that she's been paying attention close enough to be certain. He's still looking at her, and Natasha sighs as she finally sits up.

"I'm fine, Jasper. It's just a lot to take in." It's not necessarily a lie. Her attention diverts to her fingernails. "So does this mean that we're going? For me to meet everyone." She chances another glance up, this time without moving her head, and she stares at him curiously through her lashes. It's all still much too good to be true, she's realizing. How does she know that she isn't simply going to be used as a fun little plaything to something that they already have so firmly and deeply established? Natasha almost immediately scolds herself for the thought, because she knows that Jasper isn't that person. At least, she likes to think that she does.

"Was your hunt successful?"

"It was," he says with a satisfied grin, opting to answer the easier question first. "Found myself a decently sized buck, but the locals had their own designs on it. One fewer cougar in those mountains back there now." There's something thoroughly animalistic about fighting and besting a predator. He isn't certain if their blood is any more satisfying than a deer's or a rabbit's, but after taking one down, it certainly feels like it.

"As for whether we're going, seems you'd know more about that than me, I just got here," he points out. "You and Alice seemed to be having an engrossing discussion before I so rudely interrupted. But it sounds like Alice plans on stopping here for a while, and I think I agree with her. As you say, it's a lot to take in. I'd assume she thinks it will be easier if it's just us."

Her chest slowly moves with a deep inhale that she releases slowly through her nose, eyes moving to the balcony again, and despite her concerns Natasha finds herself giving a small smile. "She just wants to get to know me. I don't think she realizes just how difficult that is to do, but she's sweet." And not because Natasha doesn't want to try, but because she barely knows who she is anymore. How is she supposed to explain herself to someone else?

"If that's what she thinks." It's a grudging agreement but Natasha can already tell that there's no point in arguing. They want to stay here, just them, and Natasha isn't closed off to trying. She doesn't have high hopes, but she'll try. "So how does this work?" She looks back at Jasper, falling back into a sense of normalcy. There's no point in thinking about how many things can go wrong... neither Jasper nor Alice want to hear that, and Natasha knows that there's no way to quell the concerns in her head when they're rooted in basic cynicism in the first place. She offers him a small smirk. "Do we sit around the fire and talk about our feelings? I'd drag you into my lap too but I don't think you could handle it. Plus the whole 'control' thing."

"Well, one obstacle seems to have been surpassed already," he says, glancing toward the balcony, where he can hear Alice chatting to Carlisle. His smile grows as he listens for a few moments to Alice gushing over Natasha. "She likes you, by the way," he murmurs to her. "She's telling Carlisle."

But her question, flippant as it is on the surface, is a legitimate one. How is he meant to do anything except sit around and talk about feelings, if he can't get as close to Natasha after weeks as Alice could get immediately upon meeting her?

But perhaps that's one reason Alice wants them to stay together, just the three of them, before they go back out to rejoin the family. He's been growing steadily better, even if Natasha doesn't realize his progress. Perhaps Alice wants to give him the chance to continue that improvement. "Someday," he says after a few moments, "you will be able to. I'd like to work on that, if you'd be willing."

She can't hear Alice on the balcony but she's sure that Jasper can, and she cracks a small smile when he reassures her. "I know she does," she admits quietly, pulling her knees to her chest to wrap her arms around them. "She's a genuine little thing, isn't she? Here I am," she gives a weak smile, "still locked up. You're quiet, reserved. ...She's one of the good ones, isn't she?" Natasha finds herself looking back at the balcony entrance, staring for a few lingering moments. That's another concern... maybe they want her to be a part of their lives now, but will they still? Even after learning who she really is and everything that she's done?

When he continues Natasha has the decency to look back at him, and surprise briefly flutters across her face at his response. "...You really mean that." She says it like a new realization. "You really want to try this." She stares at him for a few moments, studying his face like she always does as if she's looking for a tell, and when she doesn't find it Natasha decides to try a new tactic; honesty. She's got nothing to lose.

"What if I'm not good for you?" She doesn't sound particularly concerned, and she asks it factually. "She saw it from the first day, I'm angry and sharp. ...You've seen the people that I've worked with." Guilt. It's seeping again, and she quickly shoves it behind that wall. "Maybe I didn't know what they were doing but that wasn't always the case. ... She's good, Jasper. You've been trying to be good for a long time now, I - I'm newer. At this." Natasha brushes her long hair behind her ear, a nervous tick. "I wasn't a good person. I'm not a good person, I - I don't know. I don't know what I am, anymore, I've been trying to figure it out since the day I got to the cabin." And asked him if he was going to kill her. It feels like a lifetime ago.

As always, Jasper waits until she's finished getting her thoughts out. He will always do that for her, whether she realizes it yet or not.

"Alice is the most genuine person I've ever met in all my years," he says steadily, "and if she hadn't been waiting on me in that diner in Philadelphia...well. It would have been the free-climber I smelled out there, and not the cougar, who got plucked off that mountainside. Yes, I have been trying to be good for a long time now. There was still a beginning to that for me, even if it's sixty years back."

He looks over at Alice again, watches her perched on the railing outside, heedless of the drop, of course, talking to Bella now. She'll catch up with every member of the family if she can. They have time to talk, a little more time. "This might surprise you, but I don't put much stock in the idea of destiny. Alice's visions, they're not destinies. They can always be changed. There's always some way."

It takes time, but he finally looks back at her. "Natalia, we are neither of us very good people, and I have had far worse influences for most of my life. It doesn't matter to me, I would say to either of us, that you don't know who you are right now. I barely knew who I was meant to be for a long time. Alice came along to show me a better way. Maybe we've come along to give you that chance too."

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